A post to signify that I still remember my blog address

Its been so long. All my new friends have kept me busy. Interestingly I gave all my new friends the same nickname=> ESS.. (Its meant to alliterate with a certain word and a short-form of another word).

Essays are my life now. Yucks.. ya tts wat Im busy with, thus the dearth of entries, and comments on others' blogs.

I hate to reiterate but I believe that Im not meeting enough old friends (real friends, not the ESS) to maintain my current social circle. And subsequently I can perceive the growing distance from them. Its like this slow and steady decay thing. Its pretty scary when I reflect upon it but i really cant help it. For one thing Im busy so tt already explains the core reason. (Its a convenient excuse for most ppl but in my case, I really believe its a genuine reason). Furthermore, the ppl I wanna meet out are busy too so we are on a two way street going in different directions from each other. This is detrimental. I probably will find myself only having a semi-social circle when I graduate.

I gotta get things rite.. Hope that whoever read the above paragraph will also reflect and start thinking whether he/she is guilty of such a sin too. I am trying to work hard to remedy the problem and I hope others are inspired to do the same (if they are affected by it). This is how the world works but there's no reason why we shld be victimized by this problem.

Well I apologise for the stern start but ya. Its my blog so I have the prerogative to say whatever I want (I said this sentence jokingly so dun think of me as a tyrant).

Actually I have a lot to say but I suddenly just cant put them into words now. I will probably spam entries when the ESS start taking a break and let me have a month's off.

O ya and I kind of went back to driving cos I flunked the first. He claims tt Im taking lessons too early since my test is in December (I forgot if it's Dec 7 or 12). I dun really give a hoot to tt remark cos I think I really shld get used to being more accustomed to safety in driving. I can still drive well and safely (Im still alive now and I have zero accidents), probably so well enough tt he fell aslp half the time during my previous lesson. I guess ppl will normally be pissed off and everything, but I was pretty happy. Cos the car belongs to me as long as he snoozes.

When Bravo and Applause are not yr only concerns..

Its the first Bravo I got and thats of cos nothing near expectations. The Applause is not there, and thats what matters...

Anyway bigger issues than just CAPtivating glory.. I have discovered that there are many ppl whom I wish to just meet up and chill with, but time does not allow. I cant even recall the number of appts I have rejected just to accompany my 5 wives. What makes it worse is that I get distracted with other forms of recreation anyway, than hanging out.. Its really comforting to know that there are ppl in school to hang around with, but I need to remember that I still have an out-of-school social life. Yet reminders are just not enough..

Sometimes too much of something is really not good.. It just gives u more opportunities to wonder about the greener pasture elsewhere, that u deserve better and whatever effort u have put in can just be forgotten and recycled into new enthusiasm for something. I always knew I have high expectations, especially since I know I can meet them. However, this drive has never really been shown and has always been overshadowed by lackadaisical heck. Its really quite a jump that I have to show it all out. Be it as a moral, academic or social judge, things just do not seem like they should be like this anymore... Life is a disappointment, it has always been anyway. But why must this open secret just bare its ugly self at such a volatile period?

Snakes shed their skins like nobody's biz and get to love something new without even bothering about the shedded. Why is that Man just needs so long to bitch over things, contemplate yadayada... Cognition processes just do not seem like a boon in this case. Maybe ability to ponder and think is not that great after all. Ignorance can be bliss. After all, if we do not know that something better is out there, we will not expect so much.

Explain to me the CAPtivating illusion, and why greener pastures exist.

I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry

I have always felt that I sometimes spend time with the wrong ppl doing the wrong things. In this case, it was really wrong (yet correct) in a different way; interestingly yet ethically wrong.. Hahaha personal joke.

Anyway I watched the show today. It was cool. The start was a laugh-off-the-head already. The storyline was cool and humour blended well with the intention behind the movie. Gays and lesbians arent that scary or queer or watever really. I knew this before the movie but this show just strengthens this belief. Its really funny why religion and human rights (preferences) in being a gay/lesbian have to collide. Anyway this show is a worthwhile one, bringing thru a serious msg using farcical humour.

The lawyer babe was hot too. I think she was acted by Jessica Biel. Saw all of her till the strings..Goodness.. Definitely a great watch with her inside. Her acting was ok but she aced everything else.

Ok forget the chicks and humour. Really glad that I pulled it off, and that I watched such a show and all.. OMG I cant believe I did.. Haha enjoyable. I have upped another level in my movie appreciation. Not every show with a lame title is B grade.. I must say Deuce Gigolo gave me this impression.. Really glad that I managed to kill this perception, somehow or rather, this was done (strangely) with another M18 sexually driven show.

Unforgiven for the self-afflicted

Recess week is gone.. Mid term papers still due and expectations are still high. I have pretty much got sick and tired of this life, but somehow Im still able to press on. I really find learning on a little red dot tiring and unhealthy but I dun wish to comment too much since a post is definitely NOT enough for elaboration of such torment. If curious, just poke me for a discussion. Im sure I will have lots to say.

I hate to make this public but I have got a crush on some gal. Im even thinking of a poem about her, which I will post when things get less busy. Its funny that I go around writing poems about my crushes but cant recite it to them.

This is wrong, madness even....Im trying to create chemistry during English lessons. So much for multi-tasking.

Post on Post-recess wk

Recess week was GREAT!! I spent recess week by clearing GREAT amounts of work.. Hellish one.. Hardly any recreation was enjoyed, except my visit back to MOE, the occasional meet-ups for tea etc. The rest: Social work visits, ESSAYS! A bloody Psych test which I hardly studied for and probably wont get a "A" for (It's my freaking major somemore la).

Life has been a real PITA AFTER recess week. I found out that I still have lots of backlog.. So much so that there is a log behind my back, tts y its called backlog wat. Duh rite.. Its really serious and for ppl who miraculously think Im surviving, even thriving, I really dun think so.....

I can find myself more irritable now and hardly in the mood for many things. I hardly go out and choose to stay at home more.. I think certain friends can tell that this is happening. My drive for work is completely different now. A different kind of nerd has got into me. The kind who is bor chup enough about work to go on MSN and talk to ppl I know will keep me online for ages, one of them whom I probably wont be seeing ever again after this sem despite certain vibes in her.

Life is such an ass now... Things that I want arent going my way.. I think. Maybe its just an exaggeration. I think I spend too much time brooding over one piece of work, hoping to perfect it. Thus neglecting the rest. This is a stupid behaviour and I really gotta get rid of it. Meanwhile, much as I appear to be real stressed out and everything, dun worry. If I can spot the problem and I know its there, it will be gone de. Just depends when...

Again I think its my expectations playing tricks on me.. And the pile up of commitments, now with driving... At least projects are coming to an end and I need not give tuition anymore.. Hope that clears my schedule.

Some things in life are so enjoyable. Brings us back to days of hedonistic folly. But such things really gotta wait. Even if u may never see them again.. Meanwhile I gotta find the right nerd to make friends with....