Some say it has been really really long since I last wrote something here. Yeah thats true but somehow there are so many things to write about, half of which are not exactly those I wanna remember, and its so tedious to put it into literal words sometimes, I just rather not do it. Anyway NY is nearing and it is time to put something down.
First I must say I received a real smashing Xmas present... From NUH.. Somehow I got a terrible fever on 23 December (somewhere near 39 degrees), it was in the middle of the night and I did not want to entertain any chance of being dead the next morning so I told mom to bring me to the hospital. I even thought I was gonna be warded so I prepared the stuff like clothes and everything.. She thot I was over-exaggerating, but come to think of it, maybe a little. But I really felt bad that night. It was a bone-aching (literally), light-headed feeling and I can actually feel a volcanic core inside me.
Anyway when I reached NUH, I went to the triage. (I really should have gone to the hospital alone. The feeling sucks to keep mom waiting outside..) They did some chest Xray and weird blood pressure count. Then the nurse asked me a question: On a scale of 1-10, what is yr level of pain? I thot of giving a 5 or 6 to make it appear serious, but I gave the truth nonetheless, a 4. And eventually, I waited a fucking hour for the doctor to arrive. I should have said 6... Patients should never lie to their caretakers but for such cases, I will the next time (which I hope not to have). Anyway while waiting, the pain level really got higher. I kind of got breathless and more uncomfortable, thus I summoned the nurse so she put me on the drip.
The drip feels weird at first. I can actually feel the cold liquid swimming in my veins. I never did have a phobia for needles but I can constantly feel the needle in my flesh. Ew.. Im so gonna strive not to be a patient ever again.
The doctor came and diagnosed that it is tonsillitis ie tonsil infection. I have heard of the tonsils before. Its some useless piece of something near the throat, which only serves to sit there and wait for infections to affect it (something like the appendix). I asked the doctor if a tonsil removal op is needed since it is a useless piece of meat. He advised the op only if tonsillitis becomes more reccurent for me in future. Its a low-risk op but I doubt I will even consider the thought. At least not for the next half decade.
I checked in the the triage at 130am and left at 530am. Im pretty glad mom got some shut-eye outside the triage so I wont feel that guilty at making her lose slp. The medical bills amounted to 95 dollars. WTF!! 80 dollars for consultation.. Well at least I got my life back.
During the course of my medication, my tummy felt a lot worse than my throat, making me wonder if the doctor diagnosed me correctly. Eventually both ailments are ok now so all is fine.
First resolution: LESS FOOD! Especially junk ones. Maybe thats the cause of all this.
Saturday, 29 December 2007
Friday, 7 December 2007
The dread is over... I think.
Took so long (too long..) for the exams and driving test to pass.. I decided to vomit the bad blood (almost literally) out only when all the shit is over. A quick summary: Exam results will probably be "B"s and the number of "A"s will be insignificant. As for driving, I still hate it till my last breath...
Btw it may get volcanic from here on, so be slayed or be gone..
I will start with exams first. It truly amazes me how almost every examination paper I attended had mistakes. Ranging from typos, to the lack of key words.. Seriously wonder how serious the profs are at setting papers. They disclose past papers from us so they can reuse past exam qns. (This is the case for real, they even admitted it). I understand that some subjects need to do so cos there are little qns to set, but overall, its pretty lame a system. The students hardly get practice and for the school's info, some ppl are taking exams for the first time in like 2-3 yrs. Im pretty glad my first two papers were over early, cos they were the most memory intensive papers (looking at how little arguments are required and how much info they expect u to know, I doubt I am wrong in saying that). Have always known I was more hands-on, so the last two papers suited me well. And for one thing, the hands-on modules were more generous (they better be anyway) with the past yr papers.
I had contemplated on changing my yet-to-be-finalised major. I think the system is pretty bad here, testing the wrong part of the brain (at least from what I infer from the 1101). However, my interest for it is too strong for me to give it up, and its probably cos the level one mods are meant to test the wrong side of the brain anyway. (Moreover the other mods I considered are deemed "not as useful" by our fine monarchy, so no point rite. Stick to the lucrative and pragmatic..)
Im getting long-winded over exams, considering that I forgot half of wat I was gonna write about it. O well, its probably best to forget the shit anyway.
Next lamentation will be driving... This will be more explosive..
I had a freaking bad nite slp the nite before. I was fucking confident of passing (seriously Im gonna be driven crazy by the amount of confidence I have in myself sometimes) and was even planning on the sms to send everyone on hearing the good news. Dun worry, such idiotic moments are very rare. This is just the second episode of such a silly thot in my life.
Skipping to the actual test. The circuit came first. Somehow I was VERY nervous this time round. Min told me that it could be due to the stress of wanting, almost needing, to pass on the 2nd try. I think that was the case, cos I dun recall such shit stress the first time round. We took a stroll round the circuit first cos half the world was using the stations. I got ten points in my first station: S course... I have always found the crank course harder but somehow the S fucked things up. Anyway, there were like 3 cars in the S course at the same time (guess who took the middle.. :S). Things were looking good, at least I thot. Then some ass motherfucker (really gotta forgive the crude language) who was behind me started horning.. My tester.. His surname is YEAP.. (gotta make a mental note to condemn him too), got kpo and went out to investigate. He only said two words when he returned: Strike kerb.. I was like WHAT the F??!! Never once had I struck the kerb in an S course before, and the maiden experience had to be so timely. And to make things even more exciting, it was the "vigilante" motherfucker behind me who had to poke his nose into my biz. Seriously Yeap wont know anything if the MF did not honk. Ok that got me A LOT MORE NERVOUS.. I was telling myself, dun fuck the rest and maybe u will barely scrap thru. Anyway I aced my parking with zero errors, same as my first try.. (Hello, the most impt component in the circuit is my forte so pass me, assholes..) I have never thought of any practical use for the other stations cos they will hardly, if not ever, be used. Not by me at least, moreover hardly anywhere in SG have such shit areas like S-shaped or cranked roads.
Out to the road. Things were looking well. The traffic condition was as good as the previous test. Cars actually gave way to me. I think they just got scared when they saw two L plates. Anyway things were fine. And Yeap actually tested me route 3 instead of route 1. Weird but watever. Essentially after the drive, he said I did not speed at the rite times (This is the freakin same comment I got during the first test). If they accepted video-evidence, I will show them the countless number of times my instr told me to slow down cos I was driving as though I already passed. I know I can drive, never doubted it (This I dare to say with full conviction). I guess its just the exam jitters. I get men twice or 2.5 times my age sitting next to me all the time (I thot this statement is quite a misleading farce but its true), but somehow the vibe differs. I get nervous in front of the wrong ppl. Yeap flawed me not only for improper use of speed on a clear road (ie speed when the road is clear). He thought I deserved to fail cos he said I was holding half-clutch too often and not letting engine brake operate on the car. For one thing, thats how I drove since who knows when. Ppl haven died from it, and they wont. Whatever logic on the flaws of using half-clutch for driving doesnt apply to me practically cos I know what Im doing, ass. Anyway, I think there are others to be blamed for this bad habit of half-clutch, including myself probably. Either way, the reason he gave to fail me was VERY unsatisfactory. Harping on the half-clutch thing does not make me an inefficient driver (please correct me if Im wrong). And from what I see, the ticks he awarded me were for minor errors. If not for the strike kerb, I will only have got 22 pts. Well its a lot of pts really but take away the jitters (I believe this is the main reason y I scored so badly) and add some benevolence (which I think Yeap and the motherfucker who honked me lacks, a lot), and we will get a happy man here (ME!). But anyway I thot two circuit lessons before this second test is insufficient anyway (couldnt help it due to the one circuit per week rule), and this new flaw which Yeap discovered, about the half-clutch is a latent detriment. So it was a handicap to begin with. It just sucks to know yr mistakes after failing.
I really thought of giving up on driving at first. Not cos Im a quitter, but I really am starting to lose focus. I dun see why I must be compelled to learn this, supposedly important, social skill when I know I wont drive AT ALL in like at least 15 years. Sure its a good skill in times of emergency and all the trivial benefits fall in, but seriously I never liked driving, probably will remain that way. I blew my first test due to my incompetence (my tester was good, at least I thot so) and I flunked my second one due to jitters and motherfuckers (tester included) from the planet Jinx. If not for half the world telling me to carry on learning, I wont. After all, my PDL and school membership is expiring. Im not sure if I need to retake Final theory again since its nearly one yr since I passed. Moreover, Im really pretty certain that I wont drive AT ALL. We are known to be second (previously first) for having the most EX car ownership. Too many motherfuckers on the road who jaywalk (I have seen hordes of family jaywalk on a red light as I was turning), as if they have nine lives and cars which never seem to give way. There are too many odds, too little incentives, against my pursuit in learning how to drive. It is not always that moral support is the pivotal factor in my decisions but I think majority wins this time. Someone told me (paraphrased) that this unforgiving system makes driving hard to pass and failing the retest just affirms its difficulty. I never found myself destined to drive a car, but Im gonna prove this supposedly fucked up system that I will survive it. Someone even suggested that switching to auto will make things easier. Three alternatives, one choice by one me. We will see
(The only joy I get from failing is knowing that I wont be able to pollute the environment.)
Btw it may get volcanic from here on, so be slayed or be gone..
I will start with exams first. It truly amazes me how almost every examination paper I attended had mistakes. Ranging from typos, to the lack of key words.. Seriously wonder how serious the profs are at setting papers. They disclose past papers from us so they can reuse past exam qns. (This is the case for real, they even admitted it). I understand that some subjects need to do so cos there are little qns to set, but overall, its pretty lame a system. The students hardly get practice and for the school's info, some ppl are taking exams for the first time in like 2-3 yrs. Im pretty glad my first two papers were over early, cos they were the most memory intensive papers (looking at how little arguments are required and how much info they expect u to know, I doubt I am wrong in saying that). Have always known I was more hands-on, so the last two papers suited me well. And for one thing, the hands-on modules were more generous (they better be anyway) with the past yr papers.
I had contemplated on changing my yet-to-be-finalised major. I think the system is pretty bad here, testing the wrong part of the brain (at least from what I infer from the 1101). However, my interest for it is too strong for me to give it up, and its probably cos the level one mods are meant to test the wrong side of the brain anyway. (Moreover the other mods I considered are deemed "not as useful" by our fine monarchy, so no point rite. Stick to the lucrative and pragmatic..)
Im getting long-winded over exams, considering that I forgot half of wat I was gonna write about it. O well, its probably best to forget the shit anyway.
Next lamentation will be driving... This will be more explosive..
I had a freaking bad nite slp the nite before. I was fucking confident of passing (seriously Im gonna be driven crazy by the amount of confidence I have in myself sometimes) and was even planning on the sms to send everyone on hearing the good news. Dun worry, such idiotic moments are very rare. This is just the second episode of such a silly thot in my life.
Skipping to the actual test. The circuit came first. Somehow I was VERY nervous this time round. Min told me that it could be due to the stress of wanting, almost needing, to pass on the 2nd try. I think that was the case, cos I dun recall such shit stress the first time round. We took a stroll round the circuit first cos half the world was using the stations. I got ten points in my first station: S course... I have always found the crank course harder but somehow the S fucked things up. Anyway, there were like 3 cars in the S course at the same time (guess who took the middle.. :S). Things were looking good, at least I thot. Then some ass motherfucker (really gotta forgive the crude language) who was behind me started horning.. My tester.. His surname is YEAP.. (gotta make a mental note to condemn him too), got kpo and went out to investigate. He only said two words when he returned: Strike kerb.. I was like WHAT the F??!! Never once had I struck the kerb in an S course before, and the maiden experience had to be so timely. And to make things even more exciting, it was the "vigilante" motherfucker behind me who had to poke his nose into my biz. Seriously Yeap wont know anything if the MF did not honk. Ok that got me A LOT MORE NERVOUS.. I was telling myself, dun fuck the rest and maybe u will barely scrap thru. Anyway I aced my parking with zero errors, same as my first try.. (Hello, the most impt component in the circuit is my forte so pass me, assholes..) I have never thought of any practical use for the other stations cos they will hardly, if not ever, be used. Not by me at least, moreover hardly anywhere in SG have such shit areas like S-shaped or cranked roads.
Out to the road. Things were looking well. The traffic condition was as good as the previous test. Cars actually gave way to me. I think they just got scared when they saw two L plates. Anyway things were fine. And Yeap actually tested me route 3 instead of route 1. Weird but watever. Essentially after the drive, he said I did not speed at the rite times (This is the freakin same comment I got during the first test). If they accepted video-evidence, I will show them the countless number of times my instr told me to slow down cos I was driving as though I already passed. I know I can drive, never doubted it (This I dare to say with full conviction). I guess its just the exam jitters. I get men twice or 2.5 times my age sitting next to me all the time (I thot this statement is quite a misleading farce but its true), but somehow the vibe differs. I get nervous in front of the wrong ppl. Yeap flawed me not only for improper use of speed on a clear road (ie speed when the road is clear). He thought I deserved to fail cos he said I was holding half-clutch too often and not letting engine brake operate on the car. For one thing, thats how I drove since who knows when. Ppl haven died from it, and they wont. Whatever logic on the flaws of using half-clutch for driving doesnt apply to me practically cos I know what Im doing, ass. Anyway, I think there are others to be blamed for this bad habit of half-clutch, including myself probably. Either way, the reason he gave to fail me was VERY unsatisfactory. Harping on the half-clutch thing does not make me an inefficient driver (please correct me if Im wrong). And from what I see, the ticks he awarded me were for minor errors. If not for the strike kerb, I will only have got 22 pts. Well its a lot of pts really but take away the jitters (I believe this is the main reason y I scored so badly) and add some benevolence (which I think Yeap and the motherfucker who honked me lacks, a lot), and we will get a happy man here (ME!). But anyway I thot two circuit lessons before this second test is insufficient anyway (couldnt help it due to the one circuit per week rule), and this new flaw which Yeap discovered, about the half-clutch is a latent detriment. So it was a handicap to begin with. It just sucks to know yr mistakes after failing.
I really thought of giving up on driving at first. Not cos Im a quitter, but I really am starting to lose focus. I dun see why I must be compelled to learn this, supposedly important, social skill when I know I wont drive AT ALL in like at least 15 years. Sure its a good skill in times of emergency and all the trivial benefits fall in, but seriously I never liked driving, probably will remain that way. I blew my first test due to my incompetence (my tester was good, at least I thot so) and I flunked my second one due to jitters and motherfuckers (tester included) from the planet Jinx. If not for half the world telling me to carry on learning, I wont. After all, my PDL and school membership is expiring. Im not sure if I need to retake Final theory again since its nearly one yr since I passed. Moreover, Im really pretty certain that I wont drive AT ALL. We are known to be second (previously first) for having the most EX car ownership. Too many motherfuckers on the road who jaywalk (I have seen hordes of family jaywalk on a red light as I was turning), as if they have nine lives and cars which never seem to give way. There are too many odds, too little incentives, against my pursuit in learning how to drive. It is not always that moral support is the pivotal factor in my decisions but I think majority wins this time. Someone told me (paraphrased) that this unforgiving system makes driving hard to pass and failing the retest just affirms its difficulty. I never found myself destined to drive a car, but Im gonna prove this supposedly fucked up system that I will survive it. Someone even suggested that switching to auto will make things easier. Three alternatives, one choice by one me. We will see
(The only joy I get from failing is knowing that I wont be able to pollute the environment.)
Friday, 16 November 2007
Irritants (I prefer bugs anytime..)
I must say, the problem I encountered in the previous post is solved.. but "problem" and "solved" are the wrong words to use in the first place anyway. Essentially, that chapter is closed.
New irritants are coming.. The most recent one, and most irritating one is the B- I got for my Psych essay. That two page crap which was vetted by three diff ppl actually got me a B MINUS!! So pissed and gonna bang open a Psych prof's door when I claim it on Monday. "B"s never seem to evade me, and new signs are being added to it, just starting to wonder when the + will come. Haven seen an "A" before and really wonder how the shit to get it. Hard work doesnt pay off.. I learnt this lesson a long time ago, but the learning seems to demand another practical lesson. (Just dun let this practical lesson last for the next 4 yrs)
Studying for exams now too. Its not arduous. Strangely so. Somehow the drive is not there; I really think the sch has killed enough of it such tt studying does not deserve the usual drive anymore. I know I have a lot to catch up and I know I dun have a lot of time. I also know that Im hardly in the right psyche for studying (And the B- doesnt help at all).. This is bad.
On the non-study side, its really sad to see others, including myself, get stressed up, worked up, fucked up... (name me other relevant -ups if possible) just cos of school, problems, watever...Its another one of my ivory tower moments when I cant do anything to help. Furthermore, this gal who I have a crush on is taking completely diff mods from me next sem. Things were looking good just tt we arent really meant to be the kind that can go to lectures and hang out together. Pity.
I just realised, that all my hopes for uni are kind of shattered. I thot of coming in and adapting well (the adaptation is fine but not academically). Grades arent the best as I hope to, my social life is hardly existent and the irritants just never seem to go away.. I dun even time to get a new female fren to hang around with, much to say for a girlfriend. These irritants arent enough to bring one down, but are enough to make one wonder why the heck some ppl (even JC teachers) actually say that university life is easier than JC life.
The worst thing is that in view of such bleak conditions, I dun really give a damn about it. Well not enough damn anyway.
New irritants are coming.. The most recent one, and most irritating one is the B- I got for my Psych essay. That two page crap which was vetted by three diff ppl actually got me a B MINUS!! So pissed and gonna bang open a Psych prof's door when I claim it on Monday. "B"s never seem to evade me, and new signs are being added to it, just starting to wonder when the + will come. Haven seen an "A" before and really wonder how the shit to get it. Hard work doesnt pay off.. I learnt this lesson a long time ago, but the learning seems to demand another practical lesson. (Just dun let this practical lesson last for the next 4 yrs)
Studying for exams now too. Its not arduous. Strangely so. Somehow the drive is not there; I really think the sch has killed enough of it such tt studying does not deserve the usual drive anymore. I know I have a lot to catch up and I know I dun have a lot of time. I also know that Im hardly in the right psyche for studying (And the B- doesnt help at all).. This is bad.
On the non-study side, its really sad to see others, including myself, get stressed up, worked up, fucked up... (name me other relevant -ups if possible) just cos of school, problems, watever...Its another one of my ivory tower moments when I cant do anything to help. Furthermore, this gal who I have a crush on is taking completely diff mods from me next sem. Things were looking good just tt we arent really meant to be the kind that can go to lectures and hang out together. Pity.
I just realised, that all my hopes for uni are kind of shattered. I thot of coming in and adapting well (the adaptation is fine but not academically). Grades arent the best as I hope to, my social life is hardly existent and the irritants just never seem to go away.. I dun even time to get a new female fren to hang around with, much to say for a girlfriend. These irritants arent enough to bring one down, but are enough to make one wonder why the heck some ppl (even JC teachers) actually say that university life is easier than JC life.
The worst thing is that in view of such bleak conditions, I dun really give a damn about it. Well not enough damn anyway.
Monday, 5 November 2007
When does one start asking for a life buoy? I still haven learnt to shout
I had a hard time thinkin of a title for this. Things arent in the best conditions recently and its more than just my five wives. I have always been good at solving my own problems myself and I dun see why I cant do it again. Thing is, when the problem lies with other ppl (i.e. many others are involved AND yr problem is existent due to other ppl's problem/s), it really becomes a PITA harder to rectify than personal angst. But then again, I really do not know if all this is a self-afflicted problem or is it collateral damage.
Its probably about time I let it off my chest. Yet there is little point anyway since no one can help me with it. The sufferers of the problem cant even help themselves anyway and this contagious helplessness spreads to me too. Even a good listener is far from enough. Observant ones will have caught tell-tale signs of renewed pessimism and listlessness. Not that I dun try to hide them, but just tt its getting pretty hard to make things look happy again. Besides just the existing problem/s, recommended solutions for them are not applied and the problem/s just go on, waiting for the dead end to wham it in the head.
I havent been making a lot of sense in this post. Not tt I did make a lot recently but anyway. There's isnt much point asking me if "Im ok?" or anything. I will probably only say "Yes" (when it's probably No), or I will just say "There's no point talking about it". Really so no need to probe, or comment or anything. Still alive and kicking from previous tribulations, this one (these) cant bring me down too.
Its probably about time I let it off my chest. Yet there is little point anyway since no one can help me with it. The sufferers of the problem cant even help themselves anyway and this contagious helplessness spreads to me too. Even a good listener is far from enough. Observant ones will have caught tell-tale signs of renewed pessimism and listlessness. Not that I dun try to hide them, but just tt its getting pretty hard to make things look happy again. Besides just the existing problem/s, recommended solutions for them are not applied and the problem/s just go on, waiting for the dead end to wham it in the head.
I havent been making a lot of sense in this post. Not tt I did make a lot recently but anyway. There's isnt much point asking me if "Im ok?" or anything. I will probably only say "Yes" (when it's probably No), or I will just say "There's no point talking about it". Really so no need to probe, or comment or anything. Still alive and kicking from previous tribulations, this one (these) cant bring me down too.
Friday, 2 November 2007
Poison and Sensibility
To make things easier, I will define the above-mentioned terms.
Poison: Something that is detrimental to personal well-being (i.e. excessive expectations)
Sensibility: A form that shows judgement based on good reason and experience
It has been widely thought that poison decreases sensibility since we will not think rationally if poisoned.. Yet this is not the case. I believe that for myself, and for many others, the poison of excessive expectations, aiming to do really better than others actually drives (coerces?) us to be more rational, be it in thought, essays etc.
Essays gotta have a structured layout, it must ADDRESS the issue (if possible, actually be a feasible solution to an existing problem), and we leech off the sensibility of others by citing their sources and creating new ideas of our own from their concepts. If we arent affected by the poison of expectations, of being better than others, will we bother to commit our utmost all to such things? The same goes for thought. When academic issues are studied, illogical and insensible ideas arent acceptable. Inherently these add to the nature of academics and even learning, true. Yet somehow things have ascended to a whole new level.
The spirit of excelling is grade-driven here and it has taken so long for me to fully empathise what others mean when they do not get their As or B+s. Every letter determines a step forward or a slip behind. When Bs are just not enough and mediocre, the letter that precedes it depicts how our progress and achievement precedes others'. Lecturers have discovered how poisonous the letters A-F are yet are powerless to do anything about it. Even + and - have new connotations now. It not only represents negativity or positivity, it can also represent insufficiency and how close u are to reaching the next level.
This poison spreads as effectively as how the system affects everyone. All together in a matrix, everyone is compelled to be sensible. Im sensible too.. I wanna break out of it.
Essential point is... Learning has a whole new meaning now... The word "meaning" here refers to the definition, and not the drive rightfully inherent in the spirit of learning.
Poison: Something that is detrimental to personal well-being (i.e. excessive expectations)
Sensibility: A form that shows judgement based on good reason and experience
It has been widely thought that poison decreases sensibility since we will not think rationally if poisoned.. Yet this is not the case. I believe that for myself, and for many others, the poison of excessive expectations, aiming to do really better than others actually drives (coerces?) us to be more rational, be it in thought, essays etc.
Essays gotta have a structured layout, it must ADDRESS the issue (if possible, actually be a feasible solution to an existing problem), and we leech off the sensibility of others by citing their sources and creating new ideas of our own from their concepts. If we arent affected by the poison of expectations, of being better than others, will we bother to commit our utmost all to such things? The same goes for thought. When academic issues are studied, illogical and insensible ideas arent acceptable. Inherently these add to the nature of academics and even learning, true. Yet somehow things have ascended to a whole new level.
The spirit of excelling is grade-driven here and it has taken so long for me to fully empathise what others mean when they do not get their As or B+s. Every letter determines a step forward or a slip behind. When Bs are just not enough and mediocre, the letter that precedes it depicts how our progress and achievement precedes others'. Lecturers have discovered how poisonous the letters A-F are yet are powerless to do anything about it. Even + and - have new connotations now. It not only represents negativity or positivity, it can also represent insufficiency and how close u are to reaching the next level.
This poison spreads as effectively as how the system affects everyone. All together in a matrix, everyone is compelled to be sensible. Im sensible too.. I wanna break out of it.
Essential point is... Learning has a whole new meaning now... The word "meaning" here refers to the definition, and not the drive rightfully inherent in the spirit of learning.
Friday, 26 October 2007
A post to signify that I still remember my blog address
Its been so long. All my new friends have kept me busy. Interestingly I gave all my new friends the same nickname=> ESS.. (Its meant to alliterate with a certain word and a short-form of another word).
Essays are my life now. Yucks.. ya tts wat Im busy with, thus the dearth of entries, and comments on others' blogs.
I hate to reiterate but I believe that Im not meeting enough old friends (real friends, not the ESS) to maintain my current social circle. And subsequently I can perceive the growing distance from them. Its like this slow and steady decay thing. Its pretty scary when I reflect upon it but i really cant help it. For one thing Im busy so tt already explains the core reason. (Its a convenient excuse for most ppl but in my case, I really believe its a genuine reason). Furthermore, the ppl I wanna meet out are busy too so we are on a two way street going in different directions from each other. This is detrimental. I probably will find myself only having a semi-social circle when I graduate.
I gotta get things rite.. Hope that whoever read the above paragraph will also reflect and start thinking whether he/she is guilty of such a sin too. I am trying to work hard to remedy the problem and I hope others are inspired to do the same (if they are affected by it). This is how the world works but there's no reason why we shld be victimized by this problem.
Well I apologise for the stern start but ya. Its my blog so I have the prerogative to say whatever I want (I said this sentence jokingly so dun think of me as a tyrant).
Actually I have a lot to say but I suddenly just cant put them into words now. I will probably spam entries when the ESS start taking a break and let me have a month's off.
O ya and I kind of went back to driving cos I flunked the first. He claims tt Im taking lessons too early since my test is in December (I forgot if it's Dec 7 or 12). I dun really give a hoot to tt remark cos I think I really shld get used to being more accustomed to safety in driving. I can still drive well and safely (Im still alive now and I have zero accidents), probably so well enough tt he fell aslp half the time during my previous lesson. I guess ppl will normally be pissed off and everything, but I was pretty happy. Cos the car belongs to me as long as he snoozes.
Essays are my life now. Yucks.. ya tts wat Im busy with, thus the dearth of entries, and comments on others' blogs.
I hate to reiterate but I believe that Im not meeting enough old friends (real friends, not the ESS) to maintain my current social circle. And subsequently I can perceive the growing distance from them. Its like this slow and steady decay thing. Its pretty scary when I reflect upon it but i really cant help it. For one thing Im busy so tt already explains the core reason. (Its a convenient excuse for most ppl but in my case, I really believe its a genuine reason). Furthermore, the ppl I wanna meet out are busy too so we are on a two way street going in different directions from each other. This is detrimental. I probably will find myself only having a semi-social circle when I graduate.
I gotta get things rite.. Hope that whoever read the above paragraph will also reflect and start thinking whether he/she is guilty of such a sin too. I am trying to work hard to remedy the problem and I hope others are inspired to do the same (if they are affected by it). This is how the world works but there's no reason why we shld be victimized by this problem.
Well I apologise for the stern start but ya. Its my blog so I have the prerogative to say whatever I want (I said this sentence jokingly so dun think of me as a tyrant).
Actually I have a lot to say but I suddenly just cant put them into words now. I will probably spam entries when the ESS start taking a break and let me have a month's off.
O ya and I kind of went back to driving cos I flunked the first. He claims tt Im taking lessons too early since my test is in December (I forgot if it's Dec 7 or 12). I dun really give a hoot to tt remark cos I think I really shld get used to being more accustomed to safety in driving. I can still drive well and safely (Im still alive now and I have zero accidents), probably so well enough tt he fell aslp half the time during my previous lesson. I guess ppl will normally be pissed off and everything, but I was pretty happy. Cos the car belongs to me as long as he snoozes.
Friday, 12 October 2007
When Bravo and Applause are not yr only concerns..
Its the first Bravo I got and thats of cos nothing near expectations. The Applause is not there, and thats what matters...
Anyway bigger issues than just CAPtivating glory.. I have discovered that there are many ppl whom I wish to just meet up and chill with, but time does not allow. I cant even recall the number of appts I have rejected just to accompany my 5 wives. What makes it worse is that I get distracted with other forms of recreation anyway, than hanging out.. Its really comforting to know that there are ppl in school to hang around with, but I need to remember that I still have an out-of-school social life. Yet reminders are just not enough..
Sometimes too much of something is really not good.. It just gives u more opportunities to wonder about the greener pasture elsewhere, that u deserve better and whatever effort u have put in can just be forgotten and recycled into new enthusiasm for something. I always knew I have high expectations, especially since I know I can meet them. However, this drive has never really been shown and has always been overshadowed by lackadaisical heck. Its really quite a jump that I have to show it all out. Be it as a moral, academic or social judge, things just do not seem like they should be like this anymore... Life is a disappointment, it has always been anyway. But why must this open secret just bare its ugly self at such a volatile period?
Snakes shed their skins like nobody's biz and get to love something new without even bothering about the shedded. Why is that Man just needs so long to bitch over things, contemplate yadayada... Cognition processes just do not seem like a boon in this case. Maybe ability to ponder and think is not that great after all. Ignorance can be bliss. After all, if we do not know that something better is out there, we will not expect so much.
Explain to me the CAPtivating illusion, and why greener pastures exist.
Anyway bigger issues than just CAPtivating glory.. I have discovered that there are many ppl whom I wish to just meet up and chill with, but time does not allow. I cant even recall the number of appts I have rejected just to accompany my 5 wives. What makes it worse is that I get distracted with other forms of recreation anyway, than hanging out.. Its really comforting to know that there are ppl in school to hang around with, but I need to remember that I still have an out-of-school social life. Yet reminders are just not enough..
Sometimes too much of something is really not good.. It just gives u more opportunities to wonder about the greener pasture elsewhere, that u deserve better and whatever effort u have put in can just be forgotten and recycled into new enthusiasm for something. I always knew I have high expectations, especially since I know I can meet them. However, this drive has never really been shown and has always been overshadowed by lackadaisical heck. Its really quite a jump that I have to show it all out. Be it as a moral, academic or social judge, things just do not seem like they should be like this anymore... Life is a disappointment, it has always been anyway. But why must this open secret just bare its ugly self at such a volatile period?
Snakes shed their skins like nobody's biz and get to love something new without even bothering about the shedded. Why is that Man just needs so long to bitch over things, contemplate yadayada... Cognition processes just do not seem like a boon in this case. Maybe ability to ponder and think is not that great after all. Ignorance can be bliss. After all, if we do not know that something better is out there, we will not expect so much.
Explain to me the CAPtivating illusion, and why greener pastures exist.
Tuesday, 9 October 2007
I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry
I have always felt that I sometimes spend time with the wrong ppl doing the wrong things. In this case, it was really wrong (yet correct) in a different way; interestingly yet ethically wrong.. Hahaha personal joke.
Anyway I watched the show today. It was cool. The start was a laugh-off-the-head already. The storyline was cool and humour blended well with the intention behind the movie. Gays and lesbians arent that scary or queer or watever really. I knew this before the movie but this show just strengthens this belief. Its really funny why religion and human rights (preferences) in being a gay/lesbian have to collide. Anyway this show is a worthwhile one, bringing thru a serious msg using farcical humour.
The lawyer babe was hot too. I think she was acted by Jessica Biel. Saw all of her till the strings..Goodness.. Definitely a great watch with her inside. Her acting was ok but she aced everything else.
Ok forget the chicks and humour. Really glad that I pulled it off, and that I watched such a show and all.. OMG I cant believe I did.. Haha enjoyable. I have upped another level in my movie appreciation. Not every show with a lame title is B grade.. I must say Deuce Gigolo gave me this impression.. Really glad that I managed to kill this perception, somehow or rather, this was done (strangely) with another M18 sexually driven show.
Anyway I watched the show today. It was cool. The start was a laugh-off-the-head already. The storyline was cool and humour blended well with the intention behind the movie. Gays and lesbians arent that scary or queer or watever really. I knew this before the movie but this show just strengthens this belief. Its really funny why religion and human rights (preferences) in being a gay/lesbian have to collide. Anyway this show is a worthwhile one, bringing thru a serious msg using farcical humour.
The lawyer babe was hot too. I think she was acted by Jessica Biel. Saw all of her till the strings..Goodness.. Definitely a great watch with her inside. Her acting was ok but she aced everything else.
Ok forget the chicks and humour. Really glad that I pulled it off, and that I watched such a show and all.. OMG I cant believe I did.. Haha enjoyable. I have upped another level in my movie appreciation. Not every show with a lame title is B grade.. I must say Deuce Gigolo gave me this impression.. Really glad that I managed to kill this perception, somehow or rather, this was done (strangely) with another M18 sexually driven show.
Sunday, 7 October 2007
Unforgiven for the self-afflicted
Recess week is gone.. Mid term papers still due and expectations are still high. I have pretty much got sick and tired of this life, but somehow Im still able to press on. I really find learning on a little red dot tiring and unhealthy but I dun wish to comment too much since a post is definitely NOT enough for elaboration of such torment. If curious, just poke me for a discussion. Im sure I will have lots to say.
I hate to make this public but I have got a crush on some gal. Im even thinking of a poem about her, which I will post when things get less busy. Its funny that I go around writing poems about my crushes but cant recite it to them.
This is wrong, madness even....Im trying to create chemistry during English lessons. So much for multi-tasking.
I hate to make this public but I have got a crush on some gal. Im even thinking of a poem about her, which I will post when things get less busy. Its funny that I go around writing poems about my crushes but cant recite it to them.
This is wrong, madness even....Im trying to create chemistry during English lessons. So much for multi-tasking.
Thursday, 4 October 2007
Post on Post-recess wk
Recess week was GREAT!! I spent recess week by clearing GREAT amounts of work.. Hellish one.. Hardly any recreation was enjoyed, except my visit back to MOE, the occasional meet-ups for tea etc. The rest: Social work visits, ESSAYS! A bloody Psych test which I hardly studied for and probably wont get a "A" for (It's my freaking major somemore la).
Life has been a real PITA AFTER recess week. I found out that I still have lots of backlog.. So much so that there is a log behind my back, tts y its called backlog wat. Duh rite.. Its really serious and for ppl who miraculously think Im surviving, even thriving, I really dun think so.....
I can find myself more irritable now and hardly in the mood for many things. I hardly go out and choose to stay at home more.. I think certain friends can tell that this is happening. My drive for work is completely different now. A different kind of nerd has got into me. The kind who is bor chup enough about work to go on MSN and talk to ppl I know will keep me online for ages, one of them whom I probably wont be seeing ever again after this sem despite certain vibes in her.
Life is such an ass now... Things that I want arent going my way.. I think. Maybe its just an exaggeration. I think I spend too much time brooding over one piece of work, hoping to perfect it. Thus neglecting the rest. This is a stupid behaviour and I really gotta get rid of it. Meanwhile, much as I appear to be real stressed out and everything, dun worry. If I can spot the problem and I know its there, it will be gone de. Just depends when...
Again I think its my expectations playing tricks on me.. And the pile up of commitments, now with driving... At least projects are coming to an end and I need not give tuition anymore.. Hope that clears my schedule.
Some things in life are so enjoyable. Brings us back to days of hedonistic folly. But such things really gotta wait. Even if u may never see them again.. Meanwhile I gotta find the right nerd to make friends with....
Life has been a real PITA AFTER recess week. I found out that I still have lots of backlog.. So much so that there is a log behind my back, tts y its called backlog wat. Duh rite.. Its really serious and for ppl who miraculously think Im surviving, even thriving, I really dun think so.....
I can find myself more irritable now and hardly in the mood for many things. I hardly go out and choose to stay at home more.. I think certain friends can tell that this is happening. My drive for work is completely different now. A different kind of nerd has got into me. The kind who is bor chup enough about work to go on MSN and talk to ppl I know will keep me online for ages, one of them whom I probably wont be seeing ever again after this sem despite certain vibes in her.
Life is such an ass now... Things that I want arent going my way.. I think. Maybe its just an exaggeration. I think I spend too much time brooding over one piece of work, hoping to perfect it. Thus neglecting the rest. This is a stupid behaviour and I really gotta get rid of it. Meanwhile, much as I appear to be real stressed out and everything, dun worry. If I can spot the problem and I know its there, it will be gone de. Just depends when...
Again I think its my expectations playing tricks on me.. And the pile up of commitments, now with driving... At least projects are coming to an end and I need not give tuition anymore.. Hope that clears my schedule.
Some things in life are so enjoyable. Brings us back to days of hedonistic folly. But such things really gotta wait. Even if u may never see them again.. Meanwhile I gotta find the right nerd to make friends with....
Wednesday, 26 September 2007
Revelations (Im writing this in a pathetic hangover.. Fuck!)
Just a disclaimer.. I consumed beer (it was just 11.4% alcohol) and Im getting a serious hangove now. Its probably cos I drank two half-bottles of beer in one go... Silly hor... Well I did it. Some of the silly things we do during guys nights out..
Went to a social work visit at a Family Service Centre in Admiralty.. CareCorner FSC-Admiralty... Its quite a conducive place.. And I was the one with the most qns again. (Somehow this nature of questioning in me really makes me think that I can be a philosopher but I think there are other subjects which requires my attention first).. Going to SANA on Friday.. Still need to write reports and analysis on the visits... So gonna die.. So lagging behind..
I met my buds at Lot One for dinner after the social work visits. Went to some Malay/Thai? restaurant where we ordered mostly spicy stuff.. I must say its really hot.. The tomyam soup tasted more sour than anything but the stingray and sotong were more than edible. It was good, per pax around 14 at most for a 4 course meal.. If I do bring anyone there, please remind me not to order the satay cos it's bad. The chicken one is edible but the beef sucks.
Then we went to a park where there's this really big playground. Its the kind with sand instead of the rubbery plastic surface so it brings back memories.. Forgive the childishness but we were throwing sand at each other half the time. It really destresses quite a bit. Great playground and its just next to that restaurant.. Good ambience.. I gotta bring ppl there to share this goodness.
Ok I cant type anymore.. Hangover is killing me.. Im getting typos at like every alternate word.
Went to a social work visit at a Family Service Centre in Admiralty.. CareCorner FSC-Admiralty... Its quite a conducive place.. And I was the one with the most qns again. (Somehow this nature of questioning in me really makes me think that I can be a philosopher but I think there are other subjects which requires my attention first).. Going to SANA on Friday.. Still need to write reports and analysis on the visits... So gonna die.. So lagging behind..
I met my buds at Lot One for dinner after the social work visits. Went to some Malay/Thai? restaurant where we ordered mostly spicy stuff.. I must say its really hot.. The tomyam soup tasted more sour than anything but the stingray and sotong were more than edible. It was good, per pax around 14 at most for a 4 course meal.. If I do bring anyone there, please remind me not to order the satay cos it's bad. The chicken one is edible but the beef sucks.
Then we went to a park where there's this really big playground. Its the kind with sand instead of the rubbery plastic surface so it brings back memories.. Forgive the childishness but we were throwing sand at each other half the time. It really destresses quite a bit. Great playground and its just next to that restaurant.. Good ambience.. I gotta bring ppl there to share this goodness.
Ok I cant type anymore.. Hangover is killing me.. Im getting typos at like every alternate word.
Tuesday, 25 September 2007
The Superficial
Everyone is staring at me today, cos I look like a terrorist. I did not shave (ppl who were lucky enough to see that devastating scene all agree on the terrorist look).
I gotta know more about some of the new gals I know around me. They are pretty nice and good to talk to yadayada... But somehow there's much more need to explore since my expectations are still left unmet. Cuteness and niceties just arent enough.
I bought cookies from the Cookie Museum.. The samples I tried were great and somehow I was tempted to get one tin.. Thats like 30 bucks la. (I will get screwed for that!) Somehow it did not taste as good when I tried it at home. Funny leh. Its still good, great but not as "wow" as the sample. So sad...
Then I remember the earphones I bought (thats like 75 or so... I will be skinned for this!!) But ITS SO WORTH IT!!... Much better than my previous earphones, with the superb bass and crisp definition.. I really had to get it!
What is superficiality? Are all the above mentioned entities reflecting superficial goodness? Or are they simply just benchmarks on whether expectations have been met?
I gotta know more about some of the new gals I know around me. They are pretty nice and good to talk to yadayada... But somehow there's much more need to explore since my expectations are still left unmet. Cuteness and niceties just arent enough.
I bought cookies from the Cookie Museum.. The samples I tried were great and somehow I was tempted to get one tin.. Thats like 30 bucks la. (I will get screwed for that!) Somehow it did not taste as good when I tried it at home. Funny leh. Its still good, great but not as "wow" as the sample. So sad...
Then I remember the earphones I bought (thats like 75 or so... I will be skinned for this!!) But ITS SO WORTH IT!!... Much better than my previous earphones, with the superb bass and crisp definition.. I really had to get it!
What is superficiality? Are all the above mentioned entities reflecting superficial goodness? Or are they simply just benchmarks on whether expectations have been met?
Saturday, 22 September 2007
Sooo dead la..
On introspection, I just realised that despite all the tests a person has to go thru in his/her life, there's one test which we are undergoing 24/7.. The test of patience. Think about it... So far I have not thought of a rebuttal that can refute this claim.
I also just discovered that my drivng test (yes its the retest) is on 7th December. And my last exam (which happens to be an essay based exam so I still gotta study for it) is on 4th December..
I think Im so gonna fail my driving test la... Cos I wont have time, and definitely not the spirit to practise for it. And I doubt there's enough time for post-exam trauma rehabilitation ie to chill after exams, or to weep and cry that Im gonna do badly and everything.. But of cos thats just a worst case scenario.
And I have also realised that my IPPT for reservist is due like before my next bday. Ew.. Thats another test.. I think I will just fail it, or as my friend suggested (I wonder how true it is), that army IPPT test can be deferred till we leave uni. I SO HOPE that is the case. I cant run to save myself from a rabid dog la (Ok that was definitely an exaggeration). U get the point, I cant run. I rather swim fifty rounds (untimed) than run (timed) within fifteen minutes. Basically the bracketed words explain why I hate such physical tests.
I think I will just go for the deferment shit, forgo the possible 400 I can get, provided I train, and just laze my 4 yrs by.
Life is full of tests.. I rather take the mental or emotional ones other ppl are going thru than my own physical and academic ones. Somehow I think I wont feel so shitty .. But of cos Im speaking from the top of an ivory tower. Life still sucks with all this testing la. Where are the roses?
I also just discovered that my drivng test (yes its the retest) is on 7th December. And my last exam (which happens to be an essay based exam so I still gotta study for it) is on 4th December..
I think Im so gonna fail my driving test la... Cos I wont have time, and definitely not the spirit to practise for it. And I doubt there's enough time for post-exam trauma rehabilitation ie to chill after exams, or to weep and cry that Im gonna do badly and everything.. But of cos thats just a worst case scenario.
And I have also realised that my IPPT for reservist is due like before my next bday. Ew.. Thats another test.. I think I will just fail it, or as my friend suggested (I wonder how true it is), that army IPPT test can be deferred till we leave uni. I SO HOPE that is the case. I cant run to save myself from a rabid dog la (Ok that was definitely an exaggeration). U get the point, I cant run. I rather swim fifty rounds (untimed) than run (timed) within fifteen minutes. Basically the bracketed words explain why I hate such physical tests.
I think I will just go for the deferment shit, forgo the possible 400 I can get, provided I train, and just laze my 4 yrs by.
Life is full of tests.. I rather take the mental or emotional ones other ppl are going thru than my own physical and academic ones. Somehow I think I wont feel so shitty .. But of cos Im speaking from the top of an ivory tower. Life still sucks with all this testing la. Where are the roses?
Thursday, 20 September 2007
Vacation week is here.. Along with a pinch of discourse
I happened to remember that I bumped into a blog which seems to belong to one of my lecturers. Got kpo and read it. Such devoted parents... Really wish their children and themselves live happily and healthily.
Vacation week is fraught with project group meetings, essays, studying for MCQ tests etc. I think I mentioned it already in a previous entry so I will stop the whining.
I havent got such freedom for a while ie a week's break where u can just slack it all away, or mug yr way thru. Whatever, no lessons, yr call.. Such a juicy carrot.. No wonder some ppl just cant handle freedom and their privileges.
Today's class (last day cos Im gonna skip the Fri lect cos its webcast)... was rather paisei.. I misused the word "oblivion" as the noun for "oblivious" ie "oblivion" equals something u dunno.. Well Im not exactly wrong when I checked it out after the lesson. It meant sth we are not aware of.. So if I dunno what is happening, can I say "Im in oblivion."... Dunno, no idea, avoid that word for the rest of my life... I was suggesting to the prof that "oblivion" may be a good substitute for the term "not knowing". Apparently no one said anything, (I wonder why) until some classmate next to me said that it is not supposed to be used that way... Well fine lesson learnt on my side.
The most irritating thing is that he said "U are taking English modules, how can u mistake the use of this word?!" OMG... Hello, Im not God of Words or whatever.. So pissed when I heard that sia. For one thing, if he thinks Im ignorant, maybe he is more.To clarify, just cos its an English module doesnt mean that I shld be good at Eng, or that Im learning the definitions of English lexical words and mugging about them. Far off... We are learning on the etymology, phonetics yada yada.. I remarked him back, saying that I feel like Im taking more of Math, Science than English during that module; it really is the case... We dun even write essays...
I did not bitch about the above incident for fun.. Today's lesson was on DISCOURSE.. Its a dense word really. (What entails is rather deep. I noted it down just for archiving purposes so its probably best to stop reading henceforth).
Definition of discourse (summarised): the system that a community uses to communicate with each other, based on a common set of assumptions and values. These assumptions and values are reproduced because they are accepted either subconsciously or through assertion of power.
My prof was kind of intrigued with my counter-arguments on the techniques that enabled discourse to spread. We are already indoctrinated with all these assumptions thru media, word-of-mouth, history etc. I was suggesting to prof that if only we can make everything explicit and say "Look here is what's happening", instead of implying everything and basing on other ppl's interpretation, then we can get things done a lot more efficiently. Varied interpretation is one of the shittiest thing this world can ever experience, thus leading to wars, conflicts, nonsense etc..
I really think if not for discourse, there wont be so much misunderstanding on earth. Its a real sinister thing but its there. Be careful ppl.
No wonder we take utopian literature.. The perfect world is not such a boring and bad ideal after all.
Vacation week is fraught with project group meetings, essays, studying for MCQ tests etc. I think I mentioned it already in a previous entry so I will stop the whining.
I havent got such freedom for a while ie a week's break where u can just slack it all away, or mug yr way thru. Whatever, no lessons, yr call.. Such a juicy carrot.. No wonder some ppl just cant handle freedom and their privileges.
Today's class (last day cos Im gonna skip the Fri lect cos its webcast)... was rather paisei.. I misused the word "oblivion" as the noun for "oblivious" ie "oblivion" equals something u dunno.. Well Im not exactly wrong when I checked it out after the lesson. It meant sth we are not aware of.. So if I dunno what is happening, can I say "Im in oblivion."... Dunno, no idea, avoid that word for the rest of my life... I was suggesting to the prof that "oblivion" may be a good substitute for the term "not knowing". Apparently no one said anything, (I wonder why) until some classmate next to me said that it is not supposed to be used that way... Well fine lesson learnt on my side.
The most irritating thing is that he said "U are taking English modules, how can u mistake the use of this word?!" OMG... Hello, Im not God of Words or whatever.. So pissed when I heard that sia. For one thing, if he thinks Im ignorant, maybe he is more.To clarify, just cos its an English module doesnt mean that I shld be good at Eng, or that Im learning the definitions of English lexical words and mugging about them. Far off... We are learning on the etymology, phonetics yada yada.. I remarked him back, saying that I feel like Im taking more of Math, Science than English during that module; it really is the case... We dun even write essays...
I did not bitch about the above incident for fun.. Today's lesson was on DISCOURSE.. Its a dense word really. (What entails is rather deep. I noted it down just for archiving purposes so its probably best to stop reading henceforth).
Definition of discourse (summarised): the system that a community uses to communicate with each other, based on a common set of assumptions and values. These assumptions and values are reproduced because they are accepted either subconsciously or through assertion of power.
My prof was kind of intrigued with my counter-arguments on the techniques that enabled discourse to spread. We are already indoctrinated with all these assumptions thru media, word-of-mouth, history etc. I was suggesting to prof that if only we can make everything explicit and say "Look here is what's happening", instead of implying everything and basing on other ppl's interpretation, then we can get things done a lot more efficiently. Varied interpretation is one of the shittiest thing this world can ever experience, thus leading to wars, conflicts, nonsense etc..
I really think if not for discourse, there wont be so much misunderstanding on earth. Its a real sinister thing but its there. Be careful ppl.
No wonder we take utopian literature.. The perfect world is not such a boring and bad ideal after all.
When u have found a primary objective, everything else just becomes secondary
I really should not be writing this entry cos I know if I dun get my ass moving, I will be late for class again. And Im on MSN with beth and BitchY so I know Im gonna drag. However, I was just inspired to be write again, and chat..
The title of this post is really apt. For one thing, I remember this quote from last night and I decided to draw on its relevance. There are many things in life we can choose to pursue but we dun want to, either cos we dun feel like it, or maybe cos we have never placed it in our sights due to our primary objective. The primary aim is so focused that it can make ppl become like race-horses wearing blinds during the race; just look forward and go. Apparently, a friend told me that the donkeys have this in their genes, they just walk straight without being distracted by the side happenings. Maybe that's why they are labelled "stupid". Is it really stupid? I thot focus is always something most ppl dun have and its rather intelligent if someone manages to attain it.
Ppl have asked me why I dun make an effort to pursue the things that I do not have. I have thot over that qn too. My favourite rebuttal will be that the need is not there. My second will be that the thing to pursue really do not meet my expectations. Why is the need not there? Why are expectations up in the sky?
I guess the need is not there cos Im too independent and prefer things done solo. Kind of heartening to know that I have a pretty well-knitted social life despite the predilection for solitude. Sounds lame but I really think its true. I dun even mind solo travelling for crying out loud, despite the voiced protests around.
The expectations part is a little tricky here. Personally, I dun expect so much. But there are circumstances that make benchmarks high. For everything...
As said, when u have a primary objective, everything else just becomes secondary and probably even frivolous. To make something un-frivolous, it will require the cause to be worth yr effort (need) and the cause better be something that is worthwhile such that it can blend into yr limited social space and future (Im talkin expectations here, I think this is one revelation for most readers..).
I think ppl are getting lost here. It sounds like a math equation and the stipulated terms are rather misleading but I really have put everything into the best words possible. (Somehow I have a fetish now for misleading ppl and satisfied that I know sth ppl dun.. Sounds malevolent. But in this case, the fetish is not there.. If u dun get it, too bad haha)..
After all this, it appears that Im real practical and pragmatic yada yada. Why dun I just go by my feel-likes.. Yes I admit, things have called for such practicalism. As I was telling one of my buds that day, feel-likes screw ppl's lives cos they hardly think whether their feel-likes meet their need and expectations. Well, maybe its in me all along, all this practicalism, just that I decided to show it more explicitly nowadays. Is that part of growing up? Or is it just that primary objectives have proved a need for such pragmatism to come in? If everyone starts using their brain and pragmatism, then what about the "feel-likes"?
I am done with my post. One unanswered qn? So what the heck will be this primary objective. For one thing I dun really know. Maybe its a blend of many mini-objectives. Furthermore, even if I know, its probably not gonna be known to another for a v long time.
Readers may find this one shitty entry cos they dun seem to understand half of what Im talking about. In that case, ponder on the other half that u guys understand and see what can be drawn on. If it sounds philosophical, cant be helped... The nature of things started with the philosophical question mark anyway. Speaking of Philo, its one subject that is unconsciously screwing me. I haven read that book for a v long time. Missed one lect and gonna miss the one tml cos Im so sick of going for it. Well its on webcast so ya. And the essays due for it dun seem like my cup of tea, at all. Its fun to think of ideas but really irritating to put it into words sometimes. Yet, what is the point of having ideas when u cant communicate them.
Bitten by the Philo bug...Time to walk forward and not stray, again..
The title of this post is really apt. For one thing, I remember this quote from last night and I decided to draw on its relevance. There are many things in life we can choose to pursue but we dun want to, either cos we dun feel like it, or maybe cos we have never placed it in our sights due to our primary objective. The primary aim is so focused that it can make ppl become like race-horses wearing blinds during the race; just look forward and go. Apparently, a friend told me that the donkeys have this in their genes, they just walk straight without being distracted by the side happenings. Maybe that's why they are labelled "stupid". Is it really stupid? I thot focus is always something most ppl dun have and its rather intelligent if someone manages to attain it.
Ppl have asked me why I dun make an effort to pursue the things that I do not have. I have thot over that qn too. My favourite rebuttal will be that the need is not there. My second will be that the thing to pursue really do not meet my expectations. Why is the need not there? Why are expectations up in the sky?
I guess the need is not there cos Im too independent and prefer things done solo. Kind of heartening to know that I have a pretty well-knitted social life despite the predilection for solitude. Sounds lame but I really think its true. I dun even mind solo travelling for crying out loud, despite the voiced protests around.
The expectations part is a little tricky here. Personally, I dun expect so much. But there are circumstances that make benchmarks high. For everything...
As said, when u have a primary objective, everything else just becomes secondary and probably even frivolous. To make something un-frivolous, it will require the cause to be worth yr effort (need) and the cause better be something that is worthwhile such that it can blend into yr limited social space and future (Im talkin expectations here, I think this is one revelation for most readers..).
I think ppl are getting lost here. It sounds like a math equation and the stipulated terms are rather misleading but I really have put everything into the best words possible. (Somehow I have a fetish now for misleading ppl and satisfied that I know sth ppl dun.. Sounds malevolent. But in this case, the fetish is not there.. If u dun get it, too bad haha)..
After all this, it appears that Im real practical and pragmatic yada yada. Why dun I just go by my feel-likes.. Yes I admit, things have called for such practicalism. As I was telling one of my buds that day, feel-likes screw ppl's lives cos they hardly think whether their feel-likes meet their need and expectations. Well, maybe its in me all along, all this practicalism, just that I decided to show it more explicitly nowadays. Is that part of growing up? Or is it just that primary objectives have proved a need for such pragmatism to come in? If everyone starts using their brain and pragmatism, then what about the "feel-likes"?
I am done with my post. One unanswered qn? So what the heck will be this primary objective. For one thing I dun really know. Maybe its a blend of many mini-objectives. Furthermore, even if I know, its probably not gonna be known to another for a v long time.
Readers may find this one shitty entry cos they dun seem to understand half of what Im talking about. In that case, ponder on the other half that u guys understand and see what can be drawn on. If it sounds philosophical, cant be helped... The nature of things started with the philosophical question mark anyway. Speaking of Philo, its one subject that is unconsciously screwing me. I haven read that book for a v long time. Missed one lect and gonna miss the one tml cos Im so sick of going for it. Well its on webcast so ya. And the essays due for it dun seem like my cup of tea, at all. Its fun to think of ideas but really irritating to put it into words sometimes. Yet, what is the point of having ideas when u cant communicate them.
Bitten by the Philo bug...Time to walk forward and not stray, again..
Saturday, 15 September 2007
What mid-term break??!!
Mid term hell more likely... The last time I checked, I have 4 essays to write (ironically the fifth module, English, is the one that I do not need to write an essay for). Certain elusive tests to study for, and hoping to get a life (or at least some remnants of whatever is left).... All within this mid-term "break".
I dun feel stressed now somehow. I just think everything is piling up so much that I feel more pissed than stressed. Maybe the stress will be the aftershock.. Somehow I have the perception that some of my lecturers think that we are only taking their module, that it is our one and only module... Some of them give me that vibe. Whatever la. I din know year 1 was gonna be so busy.. Funny. Maybe its just the lack of books for company since years ago. Apparently, they have a way of making a comeback, real radically...
I dun feel stressed now somehow. I just think everything is piling up so much that I feel more pissed than stressed. Maybe the stress will be the aftershock.. Somehow I have the perception that some of my lecturers think that we are only taking their module, that it is our one and only module... Some of them give me that vibe. Whatever la. I din know year 1 was gonna be so busy.. Funny. Maybe its just the lack of books for company since years ago. Apparently, they have a way of making a comeback, real radically...
Thursday, 13 September 2007
Been there, done that..
Had a look at France, got hungry and ate there. (Imagine that in the eyes of Emil, Hammy's brother. I think I kind of resemble Emil wrt his eating habits... OMG!!)
I went to watch "Ratatouille" today.. By myself. Its been a LONG while since I watched a movie by myself. And I just thot that since everybody has watched that show already, or busy, or u know the typical reasons, then I might as well just DIY. I thot of asking those who haven watched to join but Im meeting mom after the show; kind of rush so I still thot DIY is better.
For one thing its a 5-star movie. As u read on, things may not be so 5-starish but I based my current grade in comparison with other cartoon movies, ie Finding Nemo (FN) and Over the Hedge (OTH). The latter two movies are the comparable ones with Ratatouille, probably the only few that can be on par. I believe I will get its DVD when it is released, and gets cheaper :P Its more than just "Anyone can cook"..
I watched at GV Max Vivo. It was a maiden experience. Great legroom (sth like LT11), plush red couch seats with movable handrests for the intimate ones. The screen was obviously bigger and viewers will probably find it more realistic, as if we are watching from our own eye-view compared to the normal screens. The seats kind of vibrate during the exciting parts so it was thrilling.
The graphics of the movie was obviously better than OTH and FN. Well its about time really, since those shows were some time ago. The visible improvements can be seen in the way they drew the water features and food etc..I thot the graphics of the human portrayal can be improved but either way it was still comfortable.
The story was clear and does not lose viewers halfway like certain cartoons. Even Hammy (I think its the protagonist rat's name) and his hallucination of Gateau (I cant spell French for nuts, yet) was believable and not confusing. Some movies tend to overdo it with hallucinations eg Pirates 3 etc. But I thot Rat portrayed it well, maybe cos its a cartoon so things that are fantasty-worldish tend to get accepted by viewers more easily.
Somehow I felt an affinity with Hammy's dilemma on being a chef or a rat, kind of empathise with him but I wont elaborate on that. The twist (if any) wasnt impressive ie to say the story is pretty predictable. Still it is a comfortable and pleasant story, with smooth flow and the cheesy happy ending which I will get to in a while.
A point which I MUST HIGHLIGHT will be the critic's revelation in the end. (I forgot the critic's name, the sinister-looking skinny guy) . I thot of him as the antagonist at first but things did not go that bad. The narrator spoke his speech real fast so I could not catch all of the critic's speech but the speech further concretes the fact that a critic's job, and (especially) the jobs of those that he is criticising, are not easy.....
Rats (basically anything, anyone) deserves a chance to show his or her potential.
Passion and the will to excel vanquishes all odds.
Quite a philosophical show towards the end if u think hard enough. As one of my fren told me "Not some mindless cartoon" which just makes u feel like u paid 7-9bucks to laugh yr guts out (The Simpsons was an exception. I LOVED that too... Lame but loveable).
I will analyse his speech again when I get the DVD. No more pirates.
As I was saying, the ending was a cheesy happy ending. Somehow I have a thing with happy endings. Im no malevolent masochist but it takes more than just a happy ending to make me ace a movie. The ending was really expected. Maybe if they had come up with a more UNEXPECTED happy ending, then I will give it a 5-star without qualms.
One thing I must admit, the action, antics and witty parts are better in Rat than OTH and FN. Maybe its cos I havent watched the other two for a while so the impression is vague. Nonetheless, even if the Rat does not have better action than the other two, it was great travelling around Paris, sewer and all, from the rat's eyes. I have a liking for show that use the animal's perspective as the first person narrator; at least it reminds us that someone (something?) out there besides us has feelings and the right to deserve something better. Ok forget the animal rights rally speech (which I almost embarked on. Phew otherwise it will be another sermon). Basically the action in this movie is good.
Lastly, I wish to touch on the axiom "Anyone can cook". Its pretty heartening that a good fren of mine actually used this axiom as a theme for their camaraderie sessions. Its really high time that ppl make their money's worth in movies and start extracting moral values from any possible analogy in the show. The additional lessons that can be derived from this axiom is emboldened and mentioned before just now so I shant repeat.
Basically its an "idealistic" show that serves as a good motivator and philosophy food-for-thought. I thot of giving it just 4.5 stars for some of its shortcomings but in comparison again, I will give it a 5 anyway, but with room for improvement.
I went to watch "Ratatouille" today.. By myself. Its been a LONG while since I watched a movie by myself. And I just thot that since everybody has watched that show already, or busy, or u know the typical reasons, then I might as well just DIY. I thot of asking those who haven watched to join but Im meeting mom after the show; kind of rush so I still thot DIY is better.
For one thing its a 5-star movie. As u read on, things may not be so 5-starish but I based my current grade in comparison with other cartoon movies, ie Finding Nemo (FN) and Over the Hedge (OTH). The latter two movies are the comparable ones with Ratatouille, probably the only few that can be on par. I believe I will get its DVD when it is released, and gets cheaper :P Its more than just "Anyone can cook"..
I watched at GV Max Vivo. It was a maiden experience. Great legroom (sth like LT11), plush red couch seats with movable handrests for the intimate ones. The screen was obviously bigger and viewers will probably find it more realistic, as if we are watching from our own eye-view compared to the normal screens. The seats kind of vibrate during the exciting parts so it was thrilling.
The graphics of the movie was obviously better than OTH and FN. Well its about time really, since those shows were some time ago. The visible improvements can be seen in the way they drew the water features and food etc..I thot the graphics of the human portrayal can be improved but either way it was still comfortable.
The story was clear and does not lose viewers halfway like certain cartoons. Even Hammy (I think its the protagonist rat's name) and his hallucination of Gateau (I cant spell French for nuts, yet) was believable and not confusing. Some movies tend to overdo it with hallucinations eg Pirates 3 etc. But I thot Rat portrayed it well, maybe cos its a cartoon so things that are fantasty-worldish tend to get accepted by viewers more easily.
Somehow I felt an affinity with Hammy's dilemma on being a chef or a rat, kind of empathise with him but I wont elaborate on that. The twist (if any) wasnt impressive ie to say the story is pretty predictable. Still it is a comfortable and pleasant story, with smooth flow and the cheesy happy ending which I will get to in a while.
A point which I MUST HIGHLIGHT will be the critic's revelation in the end. (I forgot the critic's name, the sinister-looking skinny guy) . I thot of him as the antagonist at first but things did not go that bad. The narrator spoke his speech real fast so I could not catch all of the critic's speech but the speech further concretes the fact that a critic's job, and (especially) the jobs of those that he is criticising, are not easy.....
Rats (basically anything, anyone) deserves a chance to show his or her potential.
Passion and the will to excel vanquishes all odds.
Quite a philosophical show towards the end if u think hard enough. As one of my fren told me "Not some mindless cartoon" which just makes u feel like u paid 7-9bucks to laugh yr guts out (The Simpsons was an exception. I LOVED that too... Lame but loveable).
I will analyse his speech again when I get the DVD. No more pirates.
As I was saying, the ending was a cheesy happy ending. Somehow I have a thing with happy endings. Im no malevolent masochist but it takes more than just a happy ending to make me ace a movie. The ending was really expected. Maybe if they had come up with a more UNEXPECTED happy ending, then I will give it a 5-star without qualms.
One thing I must admit, the action, antics and witty parts are better in Rat than OTH and FN. Maybe its cos I havent watched the other two for a while so the impression is vague. Nonetheless, even if the Rat does not have better action than the other two, it was great travelling around Paris, sewer and all, from the rat's eyes. I have a liking for show that use the animal's perspective as the first person narrator; at least it reminds us that someone (something?) out there besides us has feelings and the right to deserve something better. Ok forget the animal rights rally speech (which I almost embarked on. Phew otherwise it will be another sermon). Basically the action in this movie is good.
Lastly, I wish to touch on the axiom "Anyone can cook". Its pretty heartening that a good fren of mine actually used this axiom as a theme for their camaraderie sessions. Its really high time that ppl make their money's worth in movies and start extracting moral values from any possible analogy in the show. The additional lessons that can be derived from this axiom is emboldened and mentioned before just now so I shant repeat.
Basically its an "idealistic" show that serves as a good motivator and philosophy food-for-thought. I thot of giving it just 4.5 stars for some of its shortcomings but in comparison again, I will give it a 5 anyway, but with room for improvement.
Wednesday, 12 September 2007
Random
I usually blog nowadays when Im stressed out or sick of seeing my "love".
Its hilarious to see ppl question me on my MSN nick "Im falling in love with the wrong one... My love life is complicated now." Especially when it's coupled with the hot nerdy chick, shown below.
I thot of putting this picture instead (shown below) but I thot it will make me look like a paedophile so I did not put it. Haha..
Basically I just need a girl and books (to represent mugging) so that ppl will be confused with my love life.
I think Im so used to mugging as a new way of life, I can actually learn to love it. (I hope it doesnt happen, but if it does, it better be reversible).
I still miss having a social life (yes, this means that I hardly have one now), watching TV and movies as and when I feel like, without worrying if the next assignment I get will be my best grade attainable. I have been independent more than half my life and Im prepared to stay that way for the next half. That includes not having a social life since I have proved to myself that I can live tt way, for now at least. But it sucks knowing that I hardly know anyone new in school. (To me, knowing someone is to at least be able to hang out and lunch with him/her. Names arent considered as knowing). Things are looking up but its still slow. And the worse thing is, Im hardly doing anything about it. This is stupid rite, giving up a real life for another. Dunno leh, it happens... How ah..
Screw it la. I will rethink my thots once all the exams and tests are over this sem. I hate this little red dot . for making us (me included) into grade-oriented students. I hope that was sufficiently subtle. Enough of the bitching, get on with the loving... Im so making love in bed tonight.... (I meant reading on the bed btw).. Mass screwing (of facts into my head) at work...
Its hilarious to see ppl question me on my MSN nick "Im falling in love with the wrong one... My love life is complicated now." Especially when it's coupled with the hot nerdy chick, shown below.
I thot of putting this picture instead (shown below) but I thot it will make me look like a paedophile so I did not put it. Haha..
Basically I just need a girl and books (to represent mugging) so that ppl will be confused with my love life.
I think Im so used to mugging as a new way of life, I can actually learn to love it. (I hope it doesnt happen, but if it does, it better be reversible).
I still miss having a social life (yes, this means that I hardly have one now), watching TV and movies as and when I feel like, without worrying if the next assignment I get will be my best grade attainable. I have been independent more than half my life and Im prepared to stay that way for the next half. That includes not having a social life since I have proved to myself that I can live tt way, for now at least. But it sucks knowing that I hardly know anyone new in school. (To me, knowing someone is to at least be able to hang out and lunch with him/her. Names arent considered as knowing). Things are looking up but its still slow. And the worse thing is, Im hardly doing anything about it. This is stupid rite, giving up a real life for another. Dunno leh, it happens... How ah..
Screw it la. I will rethink my thots once all the exams and tests are over this sem. I hate this little red dot . for making us (me included) into grade-oriented students. I hope that was sufficiently subtle. Enough of the bitching, get on with the loving... Im so making love in bed tonight.... (I meant reading on the bed btw).. Mass screwing (of facts into my head) at work...
Monday, 10 September 2007
So much for practise what you preach..
I have been getting feedback on what to major etc. In the past, I used to believe that in uni, if one does not major what he/ she is interested in, then there's little motivation to carry on and persist in times of mugging. I still uphold this principle, but I just found need to come up with a new principle to account for another problem: What if what u think that you are interested in, is better off learning in yr leisure than to be examined for?
Learning is really fun business and I am still loving it with all my life, but the fact that exams and projects etc are existent really turns ppl off. The amount of effort and stress ppl put thru (Im usually included in this list of ppl) for their "A"s and honours and whatever. Sometimes such paper qualifications just drive people the wrong way. Instead of being used as positive reinforcement to motivate us, it just becomes negative punishment when we dun get them (forgive me if I happen to misuse the psych terms, cos I have yet to read that part).
All and all, at the end of the day, I dun see the love in studying half the time. Exam-oriented is who we are, if u came from a certain red dot on Earth, and most of us will probably just stay as what we have been conditioned to be. I envy the exceptions in this case.
I met a guy from my Philo class today and we had quite a hearty chat. He believed that u must enjoy what you are studying and not be so stressed about things. Honours and "A"s are not what he is aiming for; its the learning processes and fun derived from it all that he is after. He is not pursuing what ppl will call the "most useful subject to major in" but somehow he claims he is doing well. It doesnt take a fat monthly paycheck to make one happy, its finding happiness thru yr experiences. He quoted professors who regretted doing their PhDs and said that they rather have spent the time pursuing their PhD on something they are really passionate for.
As Socrates said: An unexamined life is not a life worth living for....
How's this: A life where yr passion is not fully utilised to its maximum is just leaving room for regrets
It amazes me just reading some of the the things I write amidst studying pressure. It amazes me even more that I somehow do not always follow them. Is it due to conformity to social norms that limits my allegiance to my beliefs or is there more to it? If I can only find more time to stop mugging, maybe I can approach this qn with an open mind...
Learning is really fun business and I am still loving it with all my life, but the fact that exams and projects etc are existent really turns ppl off. The amount of effort and stress ppl put thru (Im usually included in this list of ppl) for their "A"s and honours and whatever. Sometimes such paper qualifications just drive people the wrong way. Instead of being used as positive reinforcement to motivate us, it just becomes negative punishment when we dun get them (forgive me if I happen to misuse the psych terms, cos I have yet to read that part).
All and all, at the end of the day, I dun see the love in studying half the time. Exam-oriented is who we are, if u came from a certain red dot on Earth, and most of us will probably just stay as what we have been conditioned to be. I envy the exceptions in this case.
I met a guy from my Philo class today and we had quite a hearty chat. He believed that u must enjoy what you are studying and not be so stressed about things. Honours and "A"s are not what he is aiming for; its the learning processes and fun derived from it all that he is after. He is not pursuing what ppl will call the "most useful subject to major in" but somehow he claims he is doing well. It doesnt take a fat monthly paycheck to make one happy, its finding happiness thru yr experiences. He quoted professors who regretted doing their PhDs and said that they rather have spent the time pursuing their PhD on something they are really passionate for.
As Socrates said: An unexamined life is not a life worth living for....
How's this: A life where yr passion is not fully utilised to its maximum is just leaving room for regrets
It amazes me just reading some of the the things I write amidst studying pressure. It amazes me even more that I somehow do not always follow them. Is it due to conformity to social norms that limits my allegiance to my beliefs or is there more to it? If I can only find more time to stop mugging, maybe I can approach this qn with an open mind...
Sunday, 9 September 2007
If only my tutors can see this (especially Philo ones)
I just realised that there are actually short papers to write for Philo. If readers think Im a real slacker for Philo, u guys are darn rite. I really hate it that Im neglecting Philo cos I really love the subject, tutorials, lectures etc. Even the pictures (they look GREAT!!) drawn by the lecturer... I really wish to put in more effort in Philo but the fact that 4 other modules exist dun give me much of a chance. It sounds like some excuse for me to procrastinate for Philo, but I can say with every inch of my soul that I really dun have enough time for things. Its probably time to cut down my social life (which really hardly seems existent anymore), further..
Well its pretty obvious why Philo is taking the brunt of being neglected, cos Im not gonna major it and its more of fulfilling the graduation requirements and my interest. Its pretty irresponsible to say that but that is the case. Im pretty sure that 5 modules is too much, well at least for a 1st semester cos everyone (well at least for myself) is just settling in. 4 is a good balance. However, most ppl wont wanna take 4 cos they wanna graduate on time. Time pressure stifles education!!!
Anyway Im getting frantic over Philo and this notion is not contributing to my aim of an immaculate record. Nonetheless, despite it supposedly being the least of my 5 modules, I shall try to give it my utmost best. After all, Im driven by interest for this subject. Despite the book tested resembling "Othello" (probably cos of the dialogues and the history behind it), it cant be analysed Prac Crit style (Shucks!!). Gotta think further.... Somehow I have never doubted my potential in thinking far and wide, but dunno y leh, Philo just doesnt seem to resonate the same wavelength with me. Maybe its because I think too slowly.. Anyway, I gotta remember to ask Red tutor what the heck Im supposed to do for the "short" (this adjective is correct is one considers 900 words short) paper...
If Socrates was around, he will probably be talking to me now. (PS: Its really sad that ppl did not understand him then. I have my doubts about him being a really intelligent/ insightful man but somehow his qns/dialouges really set ppl thinking. Maybe the ppl then really hated to think about new ideas and contradictions; this supposition probably still remains true for most people)
Well its pretty obvious why Philo is taking the brunt of being neglected, cos Im not gonna major it and its more of fulfilling the graduation requirements and my interest. Its pretty irresponsible to say that but that is the case. Im pretty sure that 5 modules is too much, well at least for a 1st semester cos everyone (well at least for myself) is just settling in. 4 is a good balance. However, most ppl wont wanna take 4 cos they wanna graduate on time. Time pressure stifles education!!!
Anyway Im getting frantic over Philo and this notion is not contributing to my aim of an immaculate record. Nonetheless, despite it supposedly being the least of my 5 modules, I shall try to give it my utmost best. After all, Im driven by interest for this subject. Despite the book tested resembling "Othello" (probably cos of the dialogues and the history behind it), it cant be analysed Prac Crit style (Shucks!!). Gotta think further.... Somehow I have never doubted my potential in thinking far and wide, but dunno y leh, Philo just doesnt seem to resonate the same wavelength with me. Maybe its because I think too slowly.. Anyway, I gotta remember to ask Red tutor what the heck Im supposed to do for the "short" (this adjective is correct is one considers 900 words short) paper...
If Socrates was around, he will probably be talking to me now. (PS: Its really sad that ppl did not understand him then. I have my doubts about him being a really intelligent/ insightful man but somehow his qns/dialouges really set ppl thinking. Maybe the ppl then really hated to think about new ideas and contradictions; this supposition probably still remains true for most people)
You can see the stars, if you stare hard enough..
I was just thinking of how much life seemed to have changed overnight. Let's stay with the ubiquitous academic (I chose this first cos its seems to be the dominant worry and event of my life now) woes. One obvious change and root of all worries: The "A"s dun appear just because you scored 75 marks. The bell curve is gospel and competitors will be the very persons sitting next to you.
Had high tea at Equinox today for Mom's second bday celeb. Some pics follow:
Its really been a while since I chilled my whole weekend away.. Had a 21st bday celeb with ZQ on saturday as well..
I was just looking at some old pictures (well they aint that old, rather recent in fact) and had quite a fuzzy feeling. I still enjoy the things I used to do equally much, but its just v pek cek when u really wanna do them yet cannot afford the time cos u gotta mug or just got too many things to take care of. Growing up sounds really tough...with all the added on responsibilities.
Well anyway Im hardly feeling depressed over this, just commenting on some thots. Stress and woes are really not such difficult enemies once u see the silver lining. As the title goes, "You can see the stars, if you stare hard enough". When responsibilities become part of yr goals, things just dun seem so demoralising anymore.
Saturday, 8 September 2007
Just more happenings (probably better said as update)
I cant even find a decent title for this entry and thus the stated title..
Besides the party I went to last nite, things are just school-ish thru n thru.
I finally got to see my Psych tutor and I must say, he looks like FRODO from LOTR!! Some Briton with a real heavy accent. We did experiments that involved rubber hands and rubbing of noses. (Ask me for the details..) I was expecting him to go thru the term paper qns cos they were really hard but he did not. Forget it, looks like I will have to overstretch my brain then, again. Somehow I hardly said a single word for that lesson's class participation, which is VERY unlike me. I contribute and say the lots of stuff for my other tutorials but not for his. Its sad rite.. Dunno why leh.. See how it goes next even week.
Then there's the weekly Eng tut. I contributed in class as usual but I got more than just a "Yes, thats what it is" from answering the tutor.
==> Apparently, some gal from my class asked the tutor a qn, and the tutor asked the class to contribute and answer her query. I happened to be the first to comment and the tutor was satisfied with my answer. I thot tt was it. Strangely, the whole class was scratching their heads over my answer and requested that I paraphrased it. Ok I probably spoke too fast as usual so I went slower. After the paraphrase, I still hear "huhs" and see ppl scratching their heads!! Then I hear whispers of my name and ppl just started calling me to explain my answer to them again. After my explanation to them personally, one at a time, they finally got it! And the look in their eyes was like "Hey he is the guy with the quirky yet correct answer"...
OMG!! So embarrassing..... Much as I love English lessons, I never did ask for such attention. I dun even noe if ppl will remember me cos my answer was good, or cos it was so quirky that I gotta explain time and again to them individually when they asked me.. Well somehow the tutor understood and liked it. Guess its just some time lag before the rest got to appreciate it too.
Then there's the essay... I so desperately wanna get a good grade for my first writing essay. And I really think I know what Prof wants, thus I worked pretty hard for this essay. The essay was due for conferencing on Friday at 9a.m. And I only got my peer edits at like 6pm. Then I went to crash NTU with a friend and reached home only at 12; after which I chionged the essay till 2+ (Ok it's my own doing, and I shld have came home earlier to be a nerd). Anyway I chionged it till 2+ and I really couldnt feel the brain juice moving anymore thus the sleep till 730 where I rushed to school and submitted it.
The worse thing was after submission of the essay at 9, I was so beat I took a bus home again to sleep.. (Piggish instinct, hardly controllabe) and woke at 1230 for the next lesson which starts at 2. Some of the silly acts of desperation which amazes me... I thot of skipping the 2pm lesson, cos there will be a webcast but I had more than just lessons to go to, thus I went to school anyway.
After the 2pm lesson, I met my writing mod prof (the prof who I was rushing work for), along with some other classmates for a gathering. So cool to have a mthly gathering. So we talked about things, general knowledge and all. The vibes of intelligence really exudes from profs..
Then I attended Choon Huat's party. Its really thoughtful of him to seat me with his friends so I wont be a lonely soul there. And its really great that there is a KTV room in his condo. The cake was durian (sinfully good!) and yeah the ppl were cool. Then we dunked him into the pool, after much deliberation cos we did not know how to get him out of the room. Anyway we did it. I must say the pool looked deceivingly deep.
I just recalled that I gotta take driving lessons soon, cos my next test is, I think December. I cant even recall the bloody date cos Im not looking forward to it. Never did like driving, especially with some guy next to me, ocassionally ranting away. Anyway if I dun get it thru this time, I probably will wait till late next year. The license is a sickening piece of reward dangling high up, which Im compelled to work for. But with it comes great power.. Muhahahahaha..
Well there're more details but I think this entry is becoming too long for an update. Even I am getting tired trying to squeeze out memories. Back to psych now...
Besides the party I went to last nite, things are just school-ish thru n thru.
I finally got to see my Psych tutor and I must say, he looks like FRODO from LOTR!! Some Briton with a real heavy accent. We did experiments that involved rubber hands and rubbing of noses. (Ask me for the details..) I was expecting him to go thru the term paper qns cos they were really hard but he did not. Forget it, looks like I will have to overstretch my brain then, again. Somehow I hardly said a single word for that lesson's class participation, which is VERY unlike me. I contribute and say the lots of stuff for my other tutorials but not for his. Its sad rite.. Dunno why leh.. See how it goes next even week.
Then there's the weekly Eng tut. I contributed in class as usual but I got more than just a "Yes, thats what it is" from answering the tutor.
==> Apparently, some gal from my class asked the tutor a qn, and the tutor asked the class to contribute and answer her query. I happened to be the first to comment and the tutor was satisfied with my answer. I thot tt was it. Strangely, the whole class was scratching their heads over my answer and requested that I paraphrased it. Ok I probably spoke too fast as usual so I went slower. After the paraphrase, I still hear "huhs" and see ppl scratching their heads!! Then I hear whispers of my name and ppl just started calling me to explain my answer to them again. After my explanation to them personally, one at a time, they finally got it! And the look in their eyes was like "Hey he is the guy with the quirky yet correct answer"...
OMG!! So embarrassing..... Much as I love English lessons, I never did ask for such attention. I dun even noe if ppl will remember me cos my answer was good, or cos it was so quirky that I gotta explain time and again to them individually when they asked me.. Well somehow the tutor understood and liked it. Guess its just some time lag before the rest got to appreciate it too.
Then there's the essay... I so desperately wanna get a good grade for my first writing essay. And I really think I know what Prof wants, thus I worked pretty hard for this essay. The essay was due for conferencing on Friday at 9a.m. And I only got my peer edits at like 6pm. Then I went to crash NTU with a friend and reached home only at 12; after which I chionged the essay till 2+ (Ok it's my own doing, and I shld have came home earlier to be a nerd). Anyway I chionged it till 2+ and I really couldnt feel the brain juice moving anymore thus the sleep till 730 where I rushed to school and submitted it.
The worse thing was after submission of the essay at 9, I was so beat I took a bus home again to sleep.. (Piggish instinct, hardly controllabe) and woke at 1230 for the next lesson which starts at 2. Some of the silly acts of desperation which amazes me... I thot of skipping the 2pm lesson, cos there will be a webcast but I had more than just lessons to go to, thus I went to school anyway.
After the 2pm lesson, I met my writing mod prof (the prof who I was rushing work for), along with some other classmates for a gathering. So cool to have a mthly gathering. So we talked about things, general knowledge and all. The vibes of intelligence really exudes from profs..
Then I attended Choon Huat's party. Its really thoughtful of him to seat me with his friends so I wont be a lonely soul there. And its really great that there is a KTV room in his condo. The cake was durian (sinfully good!) and yeah the ppl were cool. Then we dunked him into the pool, after much deliberation cos we did not know how to get him out of the room. Anyway we did it. I must say the pool looked deceivingly deep.
I just recalled that I gotta take driving lessons soon, cos my next test is, I think December. I cant even recall the bloody date cos Im not looking forward to it. Never did like driving, especially with some guy next to me, ocassionally ranting away. Anyway if I dun get it thru this time, I probably will wait till late next year. The license is a sickening piece of reward dangling high up, which Im compelled to work for. But with it comes great power.. Muhahahahaha..
Well there're more details but I think this entry is becoming too long for an update. Even I am getting tired trying to squeeze out memories. Back to psych now...
Thursday, 30 August 2007
Comments on ppl who are supposedly more qualified than me
Its been a while and I have got a feel of all the lecturers and most of the tutors. Apparently not all the tutors are doctors, so who are they? Masters students? Funny, I thot everyone teaching is supposed to be a Dr... Appears there arent enough doctors around.
Anyway I must conclude that I really love my English lectures. The Portuguese lecturer is really interesting. I think she knows who I am now since Im the only one in the whole lecture who responded to her call to attend the "Learning thru Play" talk. So sad that she is not my tutor. I met my Eng tutor today and, well she said she was cold and having a cold. Ok.. But she seems to be rather "at a loss of words" sometimes. Somehow I really think my lecturer is better off tutoring my class than her but who knows; maybe my tutor just needs a time out from her cold and more time with us. One thing is for sure, she better clarify our doubts. There are numerous doubts hanging when class ended.
Psychology lectures vary cos diff lecturers every wk. We even saw certain undesirable "Animal Planet" scenes in lecture. Apparently people dun see rats on top of each other very often, as I can tell from the number of "eeks" I heard. Sadly to say, I really hate Biopsych.. Of cos, cos its Bio; an abstract extract of Psych which I have hardly heard of.. I even fell aslp thru the first Biop lec, but that was my own sin cos I did not do my readings thus I did not understand shit...
Philo lecturer is definitely engaging. Never fails to make us laugh with his rhetoric. However the nature of the subject turns me off a little so I think its the last I will see Philo after 1101E.. (Actually maybe not cos USP mods have Philo too)
USP doesnt provide lectures but instead give seminar classes. So much more effective that way. Lessons are abstract, same goes for the concepts coming out of Prof's mouth, but a little adaptation shld do. The most homework comes from USP but I derive much joy... Really glad that Im in it somehow..
Social work is rather common sensical at many pts of the lecture. The lecturer seems to be providing real life examples to entice us into the profession. Well and good really, but I can hardly find much application up till now. Its sth nice to know about but it probably stops there. If the occasion, and vibes are favourable, I may consider.
Basically thats it.. I havent seen a single graded work of mine yet thus I wont know uni expectations of their students.. It better not be higher than my own expectations.. Otherwise I can just roll over and play dead...
Anyway I must conclude that I really love my English lectures. The Portuguese lecturer is really interesting. I think she knows who I am now since Im the only one in the whole lecture who responded to her call to attend the "Learning thru Play" talk. So sad that she is not my tutor. I met my Eng tutor today and, well she said she was cold and having a cold. Ok.. But she seems to be rather "at a loss of words" sometimes. Somehow I really think my lecturer is better off tutoring my class than her but who knows; maybe my tutor just needs a time out from her cold and more time with us. One thing is for sure, she better clarify our doubts. There are numerous doubts hanging when class ended.
Psychology lectures vary cos diff lecturers every wk. We even saw certain undesirable "Animal Planet" scenes in lecture. Apparently people dun see rats on top of each other very often, as I can tell from the number of "eeks" I heard. Sadly to say, I really hate Biopsych.. Of cos, cos its Bio; an abstract extract of Psych which I have hardly heard of.. I even fell aslp thru the first Biop lec, but that was my own sin cos I did not do my readings thus I did not understand shit...
Philo lecturer is definitely engaging. Never fails to make us laugh with his rhetoric. However the nature of the subject turns me off a little so I think its the last I will see Philo after 1101E.. (Actually maybe not cos USP mods have Philo too)
USP doesnt provide lectures but instead give seminar classes. So much more effective that way. Lessons are abstract, same goes for the concepts coming out of Prof's mouth, but a little adaptation shld do. The most homework comes from USP but I derive much joy... Really glad that Im in it somehow..
Social work is rather common sensical at many pts of the lecture. The lecturer seems to be providing real life examples to entice us into the profession. Well and good really, but I can hardly find much application up till now. Its sth nice to know about but it probably stops there. If the occasion, and vibes are favourable, I may consider.
Basically thats it.. I havent seen a single graded work of mine yet thus I wont know uni expectations of their students.. It better not be higher than my own expectations.. Otherwise I can just roll over and play dead...
Wednesday, 29 August 2007
I can feel the force..
For one thing, Im not imitating "Star Wars".. And for the other thing, the "force" seems to be self-afflicted. I havent felt academic stress for like years and it takes a while to adapt to it again, especially when its much more prodigious than before.
The mid-module assessments like term papers, tests etc are giving me a major headache. I know that there is the Recess Week to play with but I think it is insufficient. Thus Im already doing prep for such stuff now already, and stressing myself up voluntarily. Somehow much as I hate to admit it, but Im probably nerdified, again....
Someone asked me if Im gonna start looking for a gf in this academic phase. Considering the fact that I turned off my efforts for the past previous phases, this is the last round (I do not consider Masters to be an academic phase now). Well I think I am making (I probably should too) some effort but somehow studies still cloud my mind and tempt me to be a nerd. I haven been going out enough recently, and I hate this transmogrification into something that I so hate to be.
I think its all in the mind, ie its all my own doing... Maybe after all my nerd work this sem and I get decent grades, I will tone down a little and get myself new experiences... Maybe... Its now or never to get sth non-grades from school.
Just an academic update: I havent read enough of my textbooks and lecture notes. Haven created my own notes (my tradition) for numerous lectures. Giving too much time to USP writing module (having to find a bloody text for critique)...Placing my impt modules ie USP, Psych and Eng mods, much above exposure modules ie PHilo and SW.... I can hardly remember the time I really put effort in PH and SW... However these disciplines cant really be studied; even if they can, I havent mastered their applications....
There's the irritating worry that Im way behind many ppl in terms of work but maybe Im not that far back, probably in front of many in fact... But somehow there's no gauge to look to. I have seen how ppl went crazy over studies (both literally and metaphorically)... And I can also see myself dangerously treading along that line. Nonetheless, I know I wont end up in any undesirable state. No worries ppl.
The mid-module assessments like term papers, tests etc are giving me a major headache. I know that there is the Recess Week to play with but I think it is insufficient. Thus Im already doing prep for such stuff now already, and stressing myself up voluntarily. Somehow much as I hate to admit it, but Im probably nerdified, again....
Someone asked me if Im gonna start looking for a gf in this academic phase. Considering the fact that I turned off my efforts for the past previous phases, this is the last round (I do not consider Masters to be an academic phase now). Well I think I am making (I probably should too) some effort but somehow studies still cloud my mind and tempt me to be a nerd. I haven been going out enough recently, and I hate this transmogrification into something that I so hate to be.
I think its all in the mind, ie its all my own doing... Maybe after all my nerd work this sem and I get decent grades, I will tone down a little and get myself new experiences... Maybe... Its now or never to get sth non-grades from school.
Just an academic update: I havent read enough of my textbooks and lecture notes. Haven created my own notes (my tradition) for numerous lectures. Giving too much time to USP writing module (having to find a bloody text for critique)...Placing my impt modules ie USP, Psych and Eng mods, much above exposure modules ie PHilo and SW.... I can hardly remember the time I really put effort in PH and SW... However these disciplines cant really be studied; even if they can, I havent mastered their applications....
There's the irritating worry that Im way behind many ppl in terms of work but maybe Im not that far back, probably in front of many in fact... But somehow there's no gauge to look to. I have seen how ppl went crazy over studies (both literally and metaphorically)... And I can also see myself dangerously treading along that line. Nonetheless, I know I wont end up in any undesirable state. No worries ppl.
Thursday, 23 August 2007
What's good...
Luckily for me, the good stuff beat the bad stuff hands down. And Im not so lost in school anymore.
This week was rather eventful. I shall start with today. Despite my serious sniffles and incessant cough, I attended a new media talk on "Learning through Play". It was recommended by my Eng prof and apparently I was the only one in her lect grp who was interested. I think she was pretty happy to see a familiar face. The talker, who is a supposed renowned game designer, was ok, but I could not get his points sometimes. Basically I have four great take-aways:
Four Freedoms of Play: Freedom to EXPERIMENT, freedom to FAIL (or to BREAK), freedom to TRY ON IDENTITIES and freedom of EFFORT (ie how much effort and time they wish to devote to play). Given these four freedoms, and the right lessons and methodology in play, the player will learn even more than by pure instructions. I believe in these freedoms too, but he just put it in concrete words for me. Also he added a new point. That play shld have no time pressure, and the same applies for education. Thats one main reason why education is failing us sometimes. The time pressure is a greater menace than we expect. At least now I have more insights on games.
Going to a choir concert with my cousin on the coming Sunday at the Esplanade. She was a member at the choir and somehow I seem to be the only free one to accompany her. The tickets dun come free though, at around 20+ but I believe I will enjoy it.
Last but definitely not least, will be Mom's bday. She shares the same day as me thus I always remember it. Just that this time, we have two more participants in the celebration this year. And I must thank them for making my mom so exceptionally happy this yr.
I gave mom seashells. It was an easy present cos I just packed the shells I took from Redang and placed them in nice containers. (The koala is not included, it just looked apt to be sitting there). We had Thai (my mom's fav) but the price is nowhere near her fav. Well its a rare event so splurging once in a while is fine. The cake was heavenly, arguably the best tiramisu in SG. Things are still doing well. There's a silver lining in every cloud.
This week was rather eventful. I shall start with today. Despite my serious sniffles and incessant cough, I attended a new media talk on "Learning through Play". It was recommended by my Eng prof and apparently I was the only one in her lect grp who was interested. I think she was pretty happy to see a familiar face. The talker, who is a supposed renowned game designer, was ok, but I could not get his points sometimes. Basically I have four great take-aways:
Four Freedoms of Play: Freedom to EXPERIMENT, freedom to FAIL (or to BREAK), freedom to TRY ON IDENTITIES and freedom of EFFORT (ie how much effort and time they wish to devote to play). Given these four freedoms, and the right lessons and methodology in play, the player will learn even more than by pure instructions. I believe in these freedoms too, but he just put it in concrete words for me. Also he added a new point. That play shld have no time pressure, and the same applies for education. Thats one main reason why education is failing us sometimes. The time pressure is a greater menace than we expect. At least now I have more insights on games.
Going to a choir concert with my cousin on the coming Sunday at the Esplanade. She was a member at the choir and somehow I seem to be the only free one to accompany her. The tickets dun come free though, at around 20+ but I believe I will enjoy it.
Last but definitely not least, will be Mom's bday. She shares the same day as me thus I always remember it. Just that this time, we have two more participants in the celebration this year. And I must thank them for making my mom so exceptionally happy this yr.
I gave mom seashells. It was an easy present cos I just packed the shells I took from Redang and placed them in nice containers. (The koala is not included, it just looked apt to be sitting there). We had Thai (my mom's fav) but the price is nowhere near her fav. Well its a rare event so splurging once in a while is fine. The cake was heavenly, arguably the best tiramisu in SG. Things are still doing well. There's a silver lining in every cloud.
What's bad...
Ok its been a long time again, so I will play it "heaven and hell" style.. Im gonna bitch in this entry and be nice in the next,
First and foremost I failed driving, with an I.F. and 38points. Much as it sucked initially, I was laughing over it hours after I failed. I really shld watch out for oncoming cars before I do my right turns (not doing so will result in I.F.) and someone shld really drill me on the safety measures to take while in circuit, parking etc. Cos nearly half my points were deducted due to safety measure. And for once I can safely say that its not just my fault that I was not safe (read btw the lines). Ensure that yr instr (especially if u are under priv) teaches AND DRILLS you all the safety measures REALLY REALLY hard. Cos the testers are real ANAL over it.
Uni life is taking its toll on me. All the term papers and important assessments are happening at the same time.. Well actually there's little homework, since I dun have tuts yet, but seriously I rather have hw than have to probe in the dark on what I shld do. I havent really the slightest idea what I can do besides hw. JC and sec edu only stressed on hw and thats abt all that Im expecting now. Things like external readings and research etc dun really ring a bell. I think reading the textbook first is the safest way out. And I must say I really suck at research. If not for Google, I think Im screwed. And I have yet to learn how to use the RBR yet. Gotta learn it soon. And the RP for PL modules are breaking my momentum, having to participate in experiments and all.
Anyway I think school just needs a little getting used to. Then there's CCA. Its rather irritating that there are still welcome teas and everything, which I hardly attend. I havent firmed up on a CCA to join but even so, that will have to wait till I get more settled. I think Im gonna have to rethink my resolution on not having a CCA in first yr. I mean, its now or never.
And I must say IVLE and NUSmail is really stressful sometimes. The amount of posts and post (that was a deliberate spoof of words) on both channels can really piss ppl off. I spent one whole afternoon commenting on my tutor's qns, which actually are similar. If not for participation points, I will probably not bother typing them out.
I havent really made friends yet since there are no tutorials till next wk. Missed a few gatherings here and there due to schedule glitches and all. Made a few hi-bye friends but despite everything, Im more glad that my old ones are still around.
First and foremost I failed driving, with an I.F. and 38points. Much as it sucked initially, I was laughing over it hours after I failed. I really shld watch out for oncoming cars before I do my right turns (not doing so will result in I.F.) and someone shld really drill me on the safety measures to take while in circuit, parking etc. Cos nearly half my points were deducted due to safety measure. And for once I can safely say that its not just my fault that I was not safe (read btw the lines). Ensure that yr instr (especially if u are under priv) teaches AND DRILLS you all the safety measures REALLY REALLY hard. Cos the testers are real ANAL over it.
Uni life is taking its toll on me. All the term papers and important assessments are happening at the same time.. Well actually there's little homework, since I dun have tuts yet, but seriously I rather have hw than have to probe in the dark on what I shld do. I havent really the slightest idea what I can do besides hw. JC and sec edu only stressed on hw and thats abt all that Im expecting now. Things like external readings and research etc dun really ring a bell. I think reading the textbook first is the safest way out. And I must say I really suck at research. If not for Google, I think Im screwed. And I have yet to learn how to use the RBR yet. Gotta learn it soon. And the RP for PL modules are breaking my momentum, having to participate in experiments and all.
Anyway I think school just needs a little getting used to. Then there's CCA. Its rather irritating that there are still welcome teas and everything, which I hardly attend. I havent firmed up on a CCA to join but even so, that will have to wait till I get more settled. I think Im gonna have to rethink my resolution on not having a CCA in first yr. I mean, its now or never.
And I must say IVLE and NUSmail is really stressful sometimes. The amount of posts and post (that was a deliberate spoof of words) on both channels can really piss ppl off. I spent one whole afternoon commenting on my tutor's qns, which actually are similar. If not for participation points, I will probably not bother typing them out.
I havent really made friends yet since there are no tutorials till next wk. Missed a few gatherings here and there due to schedule glitches and all. Made a few hi-bye friends but despite everything, Im more glad that my old ones are still around.
Wednesday, 15 August 2007
When will it come?
Went for driving today. Its an 8am lesson as usual. Been having such early slots for the whole week and Im sick of waking at 730 when my earliest lectures start after 10. Today's my second last lesson before the test on Thursday. Got screwed today cos he thot I did badly at changing lanes and all that. Apparently he thought I focused more on the blind spot than the car in front. Ok I admit there were some such cases but then I was certain that I was mindful of the front car.
Then there was a time when I checked blind spot le then wanted to strafe right when he suddenly turned my steering wheel left, saying that there's an oncoming car. Then I got accused for not checking blind spot. Arrggh!! What shit logic is this? Can I help it when certain, if not many, SG drivers suck? They either park their cars at the double yellow lines, or refuse to give way, hardly signal and......... The list goes on and Im sure my peers know the driving condition more than me since they probably already have more experience.
I hope today's shitty luck means that I have less shit luck tml. Cos I really need to get a license so I need not spend money, and more importantly precious time which can be spent on sleeping and mugging, to let someone screw me and face the potential risk of a car accident.
If I do get my license tml, I swear that I wont drive unless absolutely necessary..At least for 6mths.
And I just discovered that despite the apparent need for a laptop, I actually need a printer more urgently. Lecture notes have to be printed by ourselves now, unlike JC times when we can print as a class. Given the perpetual crowd EVERYWHERE in school, I prefer printing stuff at home. Thus I need a printer, preferably an all-in-one, so that I can scan, print, copy, photo-print etc...
I just checked my email and found out that I have an assignment due five hours later. And I do not even have the materials printed out.. Today was a bad day for the first half. Things better improve, especially for tml. Assuming I get my license tml, the next acquisition will be the printer...I need a Brother, now.....
Then there was a time when I checked blind spot le then wanted to strafe right when he suddenly turned my steering wheel left, saying that there's an oncoming car. Then I got accused for not checking blind spot. Arrggh!! What shit logic is this? Can I help it when certain, if not many, SG drivers suck? They either park their cars at the double yellow lines, or refuse to give way, hardly signal and......... The list goes on and Im sure my peers know the driving condition more than me since they probably already have more experience.
I hope today's shitty luck means that I have less shit luck tml. Cos I really need to get a license so I need not spend money, and more importantly precious time which can be spent on sleeping and mugging, to let someone screw me and face the potential risk of a car accident.
If I do get my license tml, I swear that I wont drive unless absolutely necessary..At least for 6mths.
And I just discovered that despite the apparent need for a laptop, I actually need a printer more urgently. Lecture notes have to be printed by ourselves now, unlike JC times when we can print as a class. Given the perpetual crowd EVERYWHERE in school, I prefer printing stuff at home. Thus I need a printer, preferably an all-in-one, so that I can scan, print, copy, photo-print etc...
I just checked my email and found out that I have an assignment due five hours later. And I do not even have the materials printed out.. Today was a bad day for the first half. Things better improve, especially for tml. Assuming I get my license tml, the next acquisition will be the printer...I need a Brother, now.....
Monday, 13 August 2007
Somethings I gotta get off my chest...
I went to school for lunch with my cousin, after which I roamed the school for a bloody computer so that I can check out my email and know more about my first lecture. Apparently every PC terminal in the school which is attached to a printer is perpetually occupied, if not always. Eventually, I decided not to be fussy and just find a PC.
Central Lib is always crowded and the queue never fails to resemble a snake. The same goes for the MM room in ADM where some people will rather play games on the Net than let me do something more useful. Eventually I found a "secret place" where I finally managed to satisfy my need. After the search, I had half a mind to purchase a laptop.
Then came the suggested readings. Apparently the lib has little copies of my mod's readings so its a first-come-first-serve thingy. Nothing more is needed to exemplify the need for "kiasuism".
The first day of school was more of a journey than learning. I bumped into crowded places with never-ending queues, be it the bookshop or the PC terminals. Reminds me of the GSS really.
Central Lib is always crowded and the queue never fails to resemble a snake. The same goes for the MM room in ADM where some people will rather play games on the Net than let me do something more useful. Eventually I found a "secret place" where I finally managed to satisfy my need. After the search, I had half a mind to purchase a laptop.
Then came the suggested readings. Apparently the lib has little copies of my mod's readings so its a first-come-first-serve thingy. Nothing more is needed to exemplify the need for "kiasuism".
The first day of school was more of a journey than learning. I bumped into crowded places with never-ending queues, be it the bookshop or the PC terminals. Reminds me of the GSS really.
NDP and beyond
Attended the NDP on Thursday. Went to the stadium but we stood outside, due to the lack of tics. Got a few pics but there's more smoke than fireworks in most of them, so I just uploaded a few. I like the first cos its REALLY BRIGHT.. So glad I caught it. I thot last yr's fireworks were better, with more variations; maybe its cos Im standing in the stadium.
Having a hard time now, trying to get my tutorials. Basically I go to school everyday but its good so that my lessons arent so packed together like JC. And my writing module lecturer gave us pre-lecture hw. Like huh... Interesting how these U Serious Professor profs think. I think balloting for tuts is much more irritating than bidding. Maybe its cos we are protected in bidding so I need not give much of a hoot.
It sucks having to survive on allowance, especially when half of them will probably be spent on textbooks. Then there's driving on Thu. Im taking early morning lessons everyday at 8am till Thursday, all in the hope that I will pass. I hope I pass really, so that I need not waste my time and money on the car. Its cool that my relatives initiated the idea of buying me a car when (if?) I pass but Im glad my mom forbade them, cos I doubt I will wanna own a car till 30.
I knew many ppl during orientation. It amazes me how uni students can get so wild in orient. O well... Spent my last wkend going out with diff ppl. Watched like 3 movies within 2 days.
Just a quick summary. "The Simpsons" is worth watching cos it kept me laughing every minute, literally. "Rush Hour 3" is pretty short, predictable storyline but more farcical this time. Appears more like a comedy half the time, not worth a wkend...
I watched the "Secret" too by Jay Chou. The gals are chio la (and probably act better). Jay cant really act as usual; I preferred him in "Curse of the Golden Flower". The storyline for "Secret" is cool, some time travel thingy which was SO unforeseen. I thot it will be like a deja vu from the movie "Shutter" but apparently the plot proved otherwise. Despite some unanswered qns after the movie, I thot it was an ok, yet ambitious attempt to pull off the time-travel thingy. The best (and probably only good) time travel flick I watched was "Back to the Future", if Im not wrong.
I think there's another show I watched but I cant really remember. O well. Will update again
Saturday, 4 August 2007
Whats happening??!!
First and foremost I just found out that my old blog is accessible, somehow. Nonetheless Im gonna carry on with this and that will be an archive. Its gonna be a new life from 21 so this blog will be the cornerstone.
As for my HK entry, I think I will never get to it. Moreover I probably told enough people about my HK trip already. The hiatus in entries will be due to sloth and biz (so wats new?) Anyway I will be updating more often now, especially after tml. Its my 2.5 day in orientation after tml, whereby the highlight will be "Project Shoot-It". Its a FOOD HUNT cum CAM WHORE session.. OMG!! Lady Luck is staring at me!!
So I will ensure more pics tml, and beyond. The entries will keep coming in. Ya for those who are curious, CORS was ok for me. I got my 4 modules. The 5th that I will be going for is a GEM or maybe SS. Whoever my faithful readers are (those tagging and hoping that I update someday), really appreciate all yr support ;-) I hope this uni life will bring an even more positive change in me, as have JC and probably army in some (rather little) ways.
As for my HK entry, I think I will never get to it. Moreover I probably told enough people about my HK trip already. The hiatus in entries will be due to sloth and biz (so wats new?) Anyway I will be updating more often now, especially after tml. Its my 2.5 day in orientation after tml, whereby the highlight will be "Project Shoot-It". Its a FOOD HUNT cum CAM WHORE session.. OMG!! Lady Luck is staring at me!!
So I will ensure more pics tml, and beyond. The entries will keep coming in. Ya for those who are curious, CORS was ok for me. I got my 4 modules. The 5th that I will be going for is a GEM or maybe SS. Whoever my faithful readers are (those tagging and hoping that I update someday), really appreciate all yr support ;-) I hope this uni life will bring an even more positive change in me, as have JC and probably army in some (rather little) ways.
Monday, 9 July 2007
Malaysia (Redang)
An EXTREMELY LATE entry cos Im still busy as ever.. Note the word, its "busy" not "lazy"..I thought of narrating everything but I think synopses will do.
I really like to put lots of pics here but due to space, and the horrendous time needed to upload, I will only choose the best from now.
--------------------------------------
Condesation of three days in one... Btw the stay was at Lang Tengah resort, for those who are interested.
Photos on the trip (some of the better ones)
The beaches were good. Water was transparent and full of corals (dead corals but corals nonetheless). The rock jacuzzi area was the vantage point for all pics of the sun and more, as can be observed. Snorkelling was an awesome eye-opener to how cool scuba-diving could be. Luckily for me the resort I stayed in had the better waters, despite the horrible food.
Shit happens.. Some kid was shitting in his pants and happened to leave a mark on my sandal. It was such a coincidence that I was nicknaming him "The New Kid on the Block" when this happened. New shit kid.
One revelation. Snorkelling in the sea allowed me to be one with the ocean. Its really quite a nice place to live in, given oxygen and absolutely nothing to pollute. Now I know how Atlantis folk feel. And the fish were just great kissers, pecking on myself and other snorkellers when we stood still.
We collected many seashells
Some of the marine wildlife... The black horseshoe like thing is a sea cucumber and the orange thing is a live coral. The crab is obvious. I almost snapped an octopus but it squirmed deep into the rocks. All these were snapped at night in low tide (I just love my camera for being able to take such shots..!!)
There was one night where the low tide was tremendously low, so low that there were two beaches with a mini enclave of water in between them. That was a sight not to forget...
Basically this is the gist of my Msia trip to one of their most pristine islands. Where the water is really transparent. I wanna go back again, and this time Im going on a cruise there. The 13hr bus ride was a PITA, literally.
The pics are really wonderful and for those who wanna see more pics, pls let me know and I will try to make it happen. Meanwhile I hope the thots of a vacation island are starting to manifest in readers' minds, cos I hope to return there soon.
I really like to put lots of pics here but due to space, and the horrendous time needed to upload, I will only choose the best from now.
--------------------------------------
Condesation of three days in one... Btw the stay was at Lang Tengah resort, for those who are interested.
Photos on the trip (some of the better ones)
The beaches were good. Water was transparent and full of corals (dead corals but corals nonetheless). The rock jacuzzi area was the vantage point for all pics of the sun and more, as can be observed. Snorkelling was an awesome eye-opener to how cool scuba-diving could be. Luckily for me the resort I stayed in had the better waters, despite the horrible food.
Shit happens.. Some kid was shitting in his pants and happened to leave a mark on my sandal. It was such a coincidence that I was nicknaming him "The New Kid on the Block" when this happened. New shit kid.One revelation. Snorkelling in the sea allowed me to be one with the ocean. Its really quite a nice place to live in, given oxygen and absolutely nothing to pollute. Now I know how Atlantis folk feel. And the fish were just great kissers, pecking on myself and other snorkellers when we stood still.
We collected many seashells
Some of the marine wildlife... The black horseshoe like thing is a sea cucumber and the orange thing is a live coral. The crab is obvious. I almost snapped an octopus but it squirmed deep into the rocks. All these were snapped at night in low tide (I just love my camera for being able to take such shots..!!)
There was one night where the low tide was tremendously low, so low that there were two beaches with a mini enclave of water in between them. That was a sight not to forget...
Basically this is the gist of my Msia trip to one of their most pristine islands. Where the water is really transparent. I wanna go back again, and this time Im going on a cruise there. The 13hr bus ride was a PITA, literally.
The pics are really wonderful and for those who wanna see more pics, pls let me know and I will try to make it happen. Meanwhile I hope the thots of a vacation island are starting to manifest in readers' minds, cos I hope to return there soon.
Friday, 29 June 2007
Before I start speaking Malay and Cantonese.....
Met up with ppl on Thu and did some of the zany-iest things in my life. No it wasnt bungee in SG or white river rafting down Bt Timah. It just puzzles me how my potential precedes my self-expectations.
Samuel gave me a bday present on Thu. It was a rather, can I say punkish, notebook to write in. Seriously thats sth I need... Maybe I will bring it along. We watched "Transformers" too. Its quite an action-packed show but somehow I just dun really like to see humour juxtaposed with action. Some of the humour was superfluous, if not most. However, my own funny bone tingled at certain points of the robotic fight. Gosh what a sadist! The CGI was marvellously realistic and that was appreciated by all. Storyline is typically predictable and suffices as a four-star overall. One pitfall was the influx of characters along the way and it was a little confusing remembering or even differentiating who's who. However with some homework done, its not hard to tell whose names are more impt.
Then I met someone to register for a leap of faith.. I so think Im gonna regret it and slap myself for it but somehow I got convinced that things wont go tt wrong. Of cos I was preparing something impt too, in anticipation of future events. Its really rather refreshing to see how much effort one can put in.. So much it kind of scares me.
I found out how tiring it can be helping, or making life better for someone. Especially when the reciprocating reaction is an unknown, or worse still, negative from expectations. I already did realise this a long time ago but its a timely refresher course, and from different perspectives.
Anyway with regards to the trip, I know neither of the languages stated above. I can hardly visualise enough of what Im gonna expect since I hardly know what there are in the places Im going. However, being independent for so long (at least I think I have been) , I dun foresee problem that have yet daunted me. But then going overseas is mainly for that different experience. Maybe things will just start changing.
Adieus ppl and bon voyage to myself..
Samuel gave me a bday present on Thu. It was a rather, can I say punkish, notebook to write in. Seriously thats sth I need... Maybe I will bring it along. We watched "Transformers" too. Its quite an action-packed show but somehow I just dun really like to see humour juxtaposed with action. Some of the humour was superfluous, if not most. However, my own funny bone tingled at certain points of the robotic fight. Gosh what a sadist! The CGI was marvellously realistic and that was appreciated by all. Storyline is typically predictable and suffices as a four-star overall. One pitfall was the influx of characters along the way and it was a little confusing remembering or even differentiating who's who. However with some homework done, its not hard to tell whose names are more impt.
Then I met someone to register for a leap of faith.. I so think Im gonna regret it and slap myself for it but somehow I got convinced that things wont go tt wrong. Of cos I was preparing something impt too, in anticipation of future events. Its really rather refreshing to see how much effort one can put in.. So much it kind of scares me.
I found out how tiring it can be helping, or making life better for someone. Especially when the reciprocating reaction is an unknown, or worse still, negative from expectations. I already did realise this a long time ago but its a timely refresher course, and from different perspectives.
Anyway with regards to the trip, I know neither of the languages stated above. I can hardly visualise enough of what Im gonna expect since I hardly know what there are in the places Im going. However, being independent for so long (at least I think I have been) , I dun foresee problem that have yet daunted me. But then going overseas is mainly for that different experience. Maybe things will just start changing.
Adieus ppl and bon voyage to myself..
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